South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 4 Episode 2: "Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000" Quotes
(After Cartman has been released from jail)
Stan: Hey, Cartman's back!
(Clyde runs up and hugs Cartman then begins to weep)
Clyde: Oh thank you, thank you so much!
Cartman: Uh guys, what the hell's wrong with Clyde?
Stan: Get on the sled, fatass.
Clyde: For the last time I'm not fat GODDAMN IT!
(Clyde's voice changes and his eyes close tightly into an "X" like when Cartman's mad - realizing that he has just become shockingly like Cartman Clyde slams his hand over his mouth and his eyes bug out in shock/horror)
Cartman: Hey you guys.
Kyle: Hey, fatass. How's prison?
Cartman: Well, it sucks balls. Whattaya think?
Stan: Cartman, why the hell did you have to commit a hate crime?! We're gonna lose to girls because of you!
Kyle: Yeah! So you gotta bust out of here. So, we made you this cake. There's an ail-nay ile-fay inside of it.
Cartman: What's that?
Kyle: Listen, aggot-fay. An ail-nay ile-fay so you can eak-bray out of ison-pray.
Stan: Yeah, you stupid umbass-day!
Cartman: I'd love to eat a cake, you guys, but they don't let us take anything back to the cells from here.
Kyle: They on't-day?! Why the ell-hay ot-nay?! It ook-tay our-fay ours-hay to ake-bay this oddamned-gay ake-cay, and ow-nay we're otally-tay ewed-scray!
Clyde: I'm not fat you guys, I'm just kinda big boned.
Kyle: That's what they all say!
Man: Who is Token?
Cartman: He is a black kid that goes to my school.
Man: BLACK? OH MY GOD DID YOU CALL HIM BLACK?
Cartman: He is black.
Man: Oh! He said it again.
Stan: Oh my God, we killed Kenny.
Kyle: We killed Kenny?
Stan: Yep, we killed Kenny. We're bastards.
Judge: I am making an example of you to send a message out to people everywhere: that if you want to hurt another human being, you'd better make damn sure they're the same color as you are.
Kyle: We won! We won!
Butters: Yeah. Why we sure gave those skanky bitches what for.
Kyle: We won again!
Token: That's not fair! Cartman's ass is so fat, he makes your sled go faster!
Cartman: Hey! Don't call me fat, Token!
Crazy son of a bitch!
Police Officer
JESUS CHRIST! HE'S GONNA RAM IT!
Police Officer
Pip: Lets hear it for Cartman's fat ass!
(Cartman throws a rock at Pip's temple)
Cartman: Do British people count as an ethnicity?
Stan: Nah.
Cartman: Sweet.
