South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 16 Episode 8: "Sarcastaball" Quotes
Coach Belichick says that 'there's no way we can beat the Broncos, they've had the same coach for almost a day!'
Reporter
Announcer: Oh, the referee is calling that a touchdown! Oh wait, now another official is signaling that's a safety!
Fan: Oh, nice job, replacement refs!
Announcer: They're gonna have to sort this one out with the side judge.
Side Judge: **** it, it's a ****ing field goal!
Fan 1: Nice job, Cee-Lo! Good to see you on TV some more!
Fan 2: Yeah, I'm a big fan of all your hit song!
As commissioner of the NFL, I am so thrilled to see our nation's youth embrace sarcastaball over traditional football. But oh, why stop there? Since football is *so barabaric*, we should change too! So let's give a big welcome to the new coach of the Denver Broncos, Randy Marsh!
Roger Goodell
Let's do this. Stan, hook up my bra.
Cartman
Yeah, let's do that! We've got an economy in the toilet, a big election coming up, but this country's #1 priority should be making football safer!
Randy
Stan: Dad, do we really have to wear bras?
Randy: Yeah, Stan, this is what people want! Don't worry, you look really cool!
Oh, they'd love it! A sport where safety is all that matters? How about we call it sarcastaball?!
Randy
Randy: Yeah, the players should all wear bras! And instead of helmets, they should wear little tin-foil hats, because you know, it's the future, and we shouldn't be so barbaric!
Principal Victoria: How will the bras and tin-foil hats make it safer?
Randy: Oh, you're all not getting it, see, while we're at it, we'll have a balloon instead of a ball, and whoever catches the ballon will tries to run while all the other players hug!
Butters: Boy, I just don't get football. Guess that's why I suck at it.
Stan: You don't suck at football, Butters. You suck at all sports.
Butters: That's true!
