Stan: Where's Gobbles?
Cartman: I don't know.
(Stan and Kyle look at him doubtfully)
Cartman: I DON'T KNOW! I might have tried to have Gobbles crushed by a stage light but that's it, I'm not an asshole.

• Permalink: Where's Gobbles? I don't know. I DON'T KNOW! I might have ...
• Added: March 04, 2010

Mr. Mackey: Every year the fourth graders do "The Miracle Worker", and every year we have to sit and watch it.
Principal Victoria: Yeah, I swore that if I had to see it one more time I'd put a bullet in my head. But luckily, I got really stoned before I came.

• Permalink: Every year the fourth graders do The Miracle Worker, and every y...
• Added: March 04, 2010

I can't dude, Timmy has a boner for it.

</i> Cartman

• Permalink: I can't dude, Timmy has a boner for it.
• Added: March 04, 2010

Stan: Kyle saved your life! The least you could do is thank him!
Cartman: Alright, alright......Kyle......(opens mouth. episode ends)

• Permalink: Kyle saved your life! The least you could do is thank him! Alr...
• Added: March 04, 2010

Bill Cosby: Well that does it! (takes out laser gun)
Kyle: Hey! What are you doing!
Bill Cosby: I'm afraid i have no other choice! I have to kill him!
Kyle: Oh! Ok.
Stan: That's fine. No wait!
Bill Cosby: What?
Stan: Can I do it?
Bill Cosby: Oh, I suppose... (give gun to Stan)
Stan: Sweet! Kiss your ass goodbye fat boy!

• Permalink: Well that does it! Hey! What are you doing! I'm afraid i ha...
• Added: March 04, 2010

Mr. Garrison: (Looks outside the classroom window) What the hell is that? Oh my God! What is that thing?! Children, there's some huge, bulbous monstrosity heading for the classroom! Oh my God, it's awful! It's coming for the door!
(Rosie o'Donnell enters the room)
Rosie O'Donnell: Hello, kids!

• Permalink: What the hell is that? Oh my God! What is that thing?! Children,...
• Added: March 04, 2010

Mr. Garrison: You can't have an election with just one person running, what's the fun in that? Ike, how about you? You're a genius.
(Ike looks at the others glaring at him)
Ike: No.
Mr. Garrison: Okay, our next nominee is Ike the Genius.

• Permalink: You can't have an election with just one person running, what's ...
• Added: March 04, 2010

Bill Cosby: (sees the blob Cartman has become) There's got to be a part of your friend still in there...
Cartman Trapper-Keeper: (Farts)
Kyle: Oh my god.Cartman is still in there.

• Permalink: There's got to be a part of your friend still in there... O...
• Added: March 04, 2010

(Kyle sneaks into the Cartman-Trapper Keeper monster to shut it down)
Cartman: (Sounding like HAL from 2001) What are you doing, Kyle?
Kyle: I have to shut down your CPU!
Cartman: (Like HAL) I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Kyle.
Kyle: Well, screw you, fat ass!
Cartman: (normal voice) Screw you!

• Permalink: What are you doing, Kyle? I have to shut down your CPU! I'm...
• Added: March 04, 2010

(singing) I don't want to wait, for my trapper keeper to be over!

Cartman

• Permalink: I don't want to wait, for my trapper keeper to be over!
• Added: March 04, 2010

Filmore: If I'm elected class president, I will call for better chairs. And, on Fridays, I'll add two minutes to nap time.
Garrison: Very enthralling. Ok, Ike. How about you?
Ike: Cookie Monster! Ice.

• Permalink: If I'm elected class president, I will call for better chairs. A...
• Added: March 04, 2010

Cop: Oh my God, now there's two!
Stan: No, I think the other one is Rosie O'Donnell.

• Permalink: Oh my God, now there's two! No, I think the other one is Rosie...
• Added: March 04, 2010