South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 5 Quotes
Dorky kid in line: Are you guys official presidents too?
Cartman: Don't talk to us kid.
Fat Lady: Hi Terrance! I'm such a huge fan!
Terrance: You're a huge fan alright!
(When Cartman jumps out of the fat lady's pants)
Cartman: Man, it smells down there!
Terrance: Jesus Christ, that was fast! Well what should we name it? How about Jerry?
(Stan, Kyle, and Kenny jump out of her pants as well)
Fat lady: What the hell!?!
Terrance: Oh wow! We had quadruplets!
We snuck into that woman's spandex to get in here.
Stan
Kyle: But we promised the Earth Day people you'd perform!
Terrance: Well in that case, I'd say you four boys are up fart-creek without a paddle.
Jesus tap-dancing Christ, is this thing ever gonna end!?!
</i> Stan
Oh boy Kyle, you just made a huge withdraw at the First Bank of Lies.
Cartman
<i>Full lyrics to the song Terrance and Phillip sing, as used on the closing credits
Beef and lamb, chicken and ham,
Step to the left and clap your hands.
Gosh we love that chicken and ham.
Don't let it go to waste, chicken and ham.
clapping sound
Beef and lamb, chicken and ham,
Step to the left and clap your hands.
Got a little left, chicken and ham.
Don't let it go to waste, chicken and ham.
Beef and lamb, chicken and ham,
Step to the left and clap your hands.
Gosh we love that chicken and ham.
Don't let it go to waste, chicken and ham.
(The birth of Terrance and Phillip's famous act)
Narrator: At the tender age of six, Terrance and Phillip were off to the United States to perform on the Ed Sullivan Show, where American audiences would be exposed to Canadians for the first time.
Ed Sullivan: And now, ladies and gentlemen, we have two adorable little boys from Canada. Please put your hands together for the music of young Terrance and Phillip.
Terrance and Phillip: Beef and lamb, chicken and ham, step to the left and clap your hands. Gosh we love that chicken and ham. Don't let it go to waste, chicken and ham.
(Clapping sound)
Woman in audience: Oh my God! What's wrong with their heads?!
Man in audience: It's alright, darling. They're just Canadian.
Woman in audience: Oh.
Terrance and Phillip: Beef and lamb, chicken and ham, step to the left and clap your hands. Got a little left, chicken and ham. Don't let it go to waste, chicken and ham.
(The audience barely applauds)
Narrator: The Canadian act confused American audiences. But then something happened that would change Terrance and Phillip's act forever.
(Phillip farts, which causes Ed and the audience to laugh and applaud loudly.)
(Terrance also farts, which causes the audience to laugh even louder.)
Narrator: It was the birth of Canadian comedy.
Terrance: You know, we've learned something today. When you've been through a lot with someone, you can't let trite things come between you.
Phillip: That's right, Terrance. You should only let trite things come between your ass cheeks. (they both fart and laugh)
(When Mr. Tenorman catches Jimbo and Ned spying on them)
Mr. Tenorman: I know who you are! I'm calling the police.
(Many men scramble out of the bushes)
Men in bushes: Oh no! I gotta get outta here!
I made you eat your parents! I made you eat your parents!
Cartman
