South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 5 Quotes
(to Big Gay Al) Get your big gay ass off the couch and come be our scoutmaster again!
Cartman
Reporter: (on TV) In other news, the FBI has finally caught the child molester known as Mr. Slippyfist. This sick child molester was found with disturbing graphic photos of young boys naked, which we will show you now. Here's one. And here's another.
Stuart: (notices picture) Kenny?
Cartman: Yeah, we're gonna use him to help raise money in our bake sale.
Stan: Cartman, don't say "use him," you big silly goose.
Randy: (to Stan) What did you say?!
Stan: I just called Cartman a name. He's a, he's a silly goose.
Randy: YOU DO NOT SAY "BIG SILLY GOOSE!" You call him an asshole like a normal kid!
Stan: But Dad, I was just trying to --
Randy: STANLEY, YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND AN ASSHOLE THIS INSTANT!
Stan: (to Cartman) Asshole.
Randy: That's better!
Cartman: (quietly) Don't call me an asshole, you son of a bitch.
You know, sometimes people ask me, "Are you angry at God for making disabled people?" I say, "No, I think the world is better with P-President Bush."
Jimmy
What if I promise not to be gay anymore? Pinky swear?
Big Gay Al
(the boys protest)
Stan: What do we want?
Boys: Gays in Scouts!
Stan: When do we want it?
Timmy: Timmy!
That's what you said about Peterson, but then you ended up having sex with him.
</i> Man
You know, my mom says God has a plan for everybody. I guess I was plan B.
Jimmy
I myself, went through a homosexual phase.
Father Maxi
Mr. Grazier: Now, the first activity for this evening will be... naked pictures. I'm going to take some pictures of each of you naked, in case we need them, for later.
Scouts: Aw.
Mr. Grazier: Aw, what is this? If there's one thing I hate, it's a whining platoon! "We don't want to do pushups! We don't want to get up early! We don't want to have you take naked pictures of us!"
Cartman: (to Kenny) Man, this guy sucks.
Mr. Grazier: Now, fall in and strip down, Scouts!
Head Scoutmaster: Oh, Big Gay Al, it has recently come to our attention that you are gay.
Big Gay Al: Well, stop the presses, did you figure that out all by yourselves, silly buns?
Well, you know what I say about kids, they're all pink on the inside.
Mr. Grazier
