Star Trek: Lower Decks
Thursdays on Paramount+Star Trek: Lower Decks Season 1 Episode 5: "Cupid's Errant Arrow" Quotes
Mariner: I'm starting to think that Barb might not actually exist.
Boimler: Oh, she's real. She's as real as a hopped-up Q on Captain Picard Day.
Mariner: Let me guess. When we meet her, it'll weirdly have to be on the holodeck.
Boimler: Hey! I don't do that anymore, okay?
Rutherford: You smell that, Tendi? Each ship on the fleet has its own scent. I think the Cerritos smells like toasting marshmallows on a cool night.
Tendi: (sniffing) Is that a plasma fire?
Rutherford: You know Kula told me the Vancouver has fluidic processors that self-replicate their own silicas?
Tendi: (gasps) Nuh-uh!
Rutherford: And he said they have tritanium hull brackets and, get this, T-88s!
Tendi: That can't be right. T-88s aren't even out yet.
Rutherford: I know!
Tendi: It's a starship! Not HEAVEN!
Barb: It was no big deal. I managed to reverse the polarity and reboot the time stream. Good thing too, cause 1920s Chicago... nobody's washing their hands.
Boimler: Love that story, bun-bun.
Mariner: Wow! That's so amazing! And now you date BRAD.
Barb: [Boimler] radiates a PRIMAL confidence. I'm sure you've felt it.
Mariner: No, I try not to feel anything around Brad.
I can't believe she used to date Jet. That guy's like a Kirk sundae with Trip Tucker sprinkles.
Boimler
Mariner: Brad, when a Starfleet relationship seems too good to be true, then RED ALERT man, it probably is.
Boimler: You think she's cheating on me?
Mariner: No, I think she's a secret alien who's going to eat you, or a Romulan spy, or a salt succubus, or an android, or a changeling, or one of those sexy people in rompers that murders you just for going on the grass!
Boimler: Woah, woah, I'm sorry. You're saying that because Barb is awesome and hot and dating me, that she's an alien? That is messed up, Mariner. That is not cool.
Enti: You hear what happened on the Enterprise? Apparently Data's got an evil twin brother who teamed up with The Borg. Crazy, right?
Mariner: What? Man, it's like a new thing every week with those guys.
You need to stop spinning out and accept people for who they are. Now, be quiet, I've got to change about me to trick her into thinking I'm something I'm not.
Boimler
Boimler: It has been a long time since I've taken a lover, let alone a lover like Barb! I am staying here and I am making love to my lover.
Mariner: Oh, please stop saying 'lover'!
Boimler: She did break up with me.
Mariner: Hey, you'll find someone who loves you without a googa attached to your skull.
Boimler: You're just saying that.
