That 70's Show Quotes
Kitty: Now, Jackie, have you ever made a pie before?
Jackie: No, I don't really cook much. I just plan on getting by on my looks.
Hyde: Okay. All right. Do you remember that time when I was climbing your fence, and I hit my forehead on that tree branch, and I fell into your yard, and your dog Yogi came out of the house and bit me twice on the ass?
Kelso (laughing): Yeah, you bled and you cried.
Hyde: I bled. I didn't cry.
Kelso: Yeah, you did. You bled and you cried.
Hyde: And you laughed, man. A lot. While I was bleeding... You see my point?
Kelso: Yeah, it's funny when friends get hurt.
Hyde: Close enough.
(after Eric tells Donna he saw his parents having sex)
Donna: I could remember like little bits of naked skin peeking through the holes of the hammock.
Eric: Wow. It's weird but knowing what you went through just makes me feel so much better 'cause you're like totally over it, aren't you?
Donna: And later they came inside and they had like this checkerboard pattern all over their arms and legs! And my dad laughed and said they fell asleep on the hammock. But I knew it was a lie. I knew what he did to my mom!
Red: Are you on dope? Are you?
Kitty: Because, because, we can help get you clean. There's counseling, hospitalization--
Red: My foot kicking your ass.
(Eric has just walked in on his parents having sex)
Eric: Okay, uh, we need to get to the hospital now.
Kelso: But what about your mom?
Eric (shouting): Don't you dare talk about my mother!
(after painting a pot leaf on the water tower)
Hyde: I don't know. It kinda looks like it's giving the finger.
Kelso: No way, man. That is definitely a pot leaf!
(Kelso falls off the water tower)
Hyde: Hey Kelso, what's it look like down there?
Kelso (in pain): It looks like it's giving me the finger!
(sitting atop the water tower)
Jackie: Oh my god. From up here, Point Place looks just like Paris.
Donna: You think that looks like Paris? No wonder you think Kelso could be a model.
Kelso: Whoa! I could so be a model.
I was driving home from the plant and I saw the water tower. It looked like it was giving me the finger.
Red
Donna: Remember when you beat him up on the playground?
Eric: I kicked his ass.
Jackie: Wait. Wasn't he the kid with scoliosis and asthma?
Eric: Yep. And I kicked his ass.
Eric: So David, still got that big ol' curve in your spine?
Fez: Can I see it?
Red: You can hit him in the groin.
Bob: You can hit him in the groin with a banjo.
(dressed up as storm troopers)
Jackie: Oh my god, you guys just gotta come over to the dark side!
Fez: They have free food!
