Fez: How much masturbation is too much?
Hyde: No such thing as too much, Fez.

Red: Damn good thing I went with him. He wanted to buy a leisure suit.
Eric: Come on, Dad. Leisure suits are cool. Everybody wears them.
Red: Leisure suits are for dumbasses. Believe me.
(Bob walks in wearing a leisure suit)

Jackie: Look, Michael Kelso and I have made beautiful love.
Donna: Eew! I mean,... no, eew!

I can't be friends with Eric. He's too... twitchy.


Without rules, we might as well all be up in a tree, flinging our crap at each other.


If I miss that 20 midget free-for-all, I'm going to be super pissed.


(after Jackie immediately does what Kelso implies)
Eric: That was so cool.
Donna: Cool?
Eric: By cool, I mean wrong and stupid.

Bob: How can you be unfulfilled? I put a roof over your head. I pay the bills. I take care of you.
Midge: Yeah, but what do I do?
Bob: You fill out that sweater real nice!

Red: We're going to kill each other.
Kitty: Well, fine. Kill each other. Just do it together.

Cop #2: Which one of you is Eric Forman?
Eric: Oh, that's me.
Cop #2: Wait a second... is your father Red Forman?
Eric (nervously): Yes.
Cop #2: You poor bastard!

We're not all in trouble here. (to Kelso) Your parents have seven kids. They won't even notice you're gone. (to Fez) Your parents don't even live in this country. (to Hyde) And your mom? Probably one cell over.

</i> Eric

Responsible people don't go around getting their nipples twisted.


That 70's Show Quotes

Eric: If my dad catches me copping beers he'll kill me.
Hyde: I'm willing to take that risk.

Kitty: Well, the kids are off. I wonder where they went.
Red: Out of town.
Kitty: How do you know?
Red: I told them not to.