Cop #2: Which one of you is Eric Forman?
Eric: Oh, that's me.
Cop #2: Wait a second... is your father Red Forman?
Eric (nervously): Yes.
Cop #2: You poor bastard!

Red: You were screwing around. You backed into a hydrant. I can see the paint marks!
Eric: No! And by no I mean exactly. But it wasn't my fault sir, Kelso was giving me a...
Red: A what?
Eric: Kelso was giving me a purple-nurple. It's when you grab someone's nipple through their shirt and twist it really hard... until it becomes purple.

Kitty: Honey, I put some sandwiches in your duffel bag. Now, um, why do you need such a big bag of oregano?
Eric: Donna's Italian.

I am so cold. The snow has stolen my manhood.


Gus: So tell me, did it hurt?
Kelso: What?
Gus: When you fell down from heaven!
Kelso: No, I'm fine.

Could one of you put his pants on?


I am a winter nymph! I love the snow! Hooray America! (he passes out in the snow)


Mmm! Liquid candy!

</i> Fez

Nothing says Christmas like a big green Grinch ass!


Red: I want you to pick out this year's tree. And whatever you don't spend, you can use for your party.
Eric: Look, Dad, you know how much I hate haggling with those tree...
Red: Haggling is part of being an adult. Here's 40 dollars.
Eric: I want 50.
Red: Knock it off!

(Donna is reaching up to trim the top of the Christmas tree)
Donna: Guys, how does that look?
(Hyde and Eric look at Donna's butt)
Hyde: That's great.
Eric: Yeah, that's fabulous, great.

Ah, come on, Hyde, did you have to write your name in the snow so close to the tree?


That 70's Show Quotes

Eric: If my dad catches me copping beers he'll kill me.
Hyde: I'm willing to take that risk.

Kitty: Well, the kids are off. I wonder where they went.
Red: Out of town.
Kitty: How do you know?
Red: I told them not to.