Look at the size of you two fat bastards. Why do I have to pull you?

Louie

I've never met an Ox I could trust.

Steve

NASCAR with bulls!

Caite

I just want to get the lesbians out.

Caite

We've got a rainbow following us!

Jordan (Pious)

Caite: You can tell who were the bad kids in school.
Brent: I wasn't a bad kid.

Where are we off to today? Hopefully some place that speaks English!

Jet

This is as close as you can get to being in the World Series.

Steve

People pay thousands of dollars for the tour we did today. We did it for free, in a Mercedes.

Jet and Cord

If I can find crack in someone's rear end, I can find grapes in a vineyard.

Michael

Jordan (Pious): The lesson in this leg of the race is: don't always trust a pretty girl.

If you can find a good looking person who can give you directions, it doesn't hurt.

Jordan (Pious)