Raj: Aren't you gonna to eat lunch?
Howard: Nah, I blew my food allowance on Pokemon cards?

Penny: Okay. Hang on. Are you saying some day that you and Amy might actually get physical?
Sheldon: It's a possibility.

Penny ... all my life I have been uncomfortable with the sort of physical contact that comes easily to others -- handshaking, hugging, prostate exams. But I'm working on it, you know? Just recently, I had to put VapoRub on Amy's chest. A year ago, that would have been unthinkable.

Sheldon

You ever going to sleep with Amy?

Penny

Bernadette: No, here's how love works. You're gonna return the machine or you can print out a working set of lady parts and sleep with those.
Howard: [pondering]
Bernadette: Oh, my God! Are you actually thinking about it?

$5,000 for a couple dolls. Are you out of your mind?

Bernadette

Kripke: My work would suffer too if I was getting laid all the time.
Sheldon: Yes. That is the reason. My work is suffering because of all the laid I am getting.
Kripke: You lucky bastard.
Sheldon: What can I say, you know? She enjoys my genitals. I am giving them to her on a nightly basis.

Raj: Oh, okay, great. Now, I can look like Val Kilmer as Batman, instead of Val Kilmer as he looks today.
Howard: All right, you can suck it in a little bit.

It worked. We printed a whistle.

Raj

Sheldon: I read his research and ... it's leaps and bounds ahead of mine. Which means the mommy of the smartest physicist at the university is not my mommy as I thought. It's his mommy.
Amy: Sheldon, I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. May I offer you a consoling hug?
Sheldon: What do we have to lose?
Amy: How's that?
Sheldon: I feel like I'm being strangled by a boa constrictor. Why did you stop?

I'm not interested in being published in Mad Magazine.

Sheldon

Welcome to the Thunderdome, Kripke.

Sheldon

The Big Bang Theory Season 6 Episode 14 Quotes

My wife came with both fun bags and money bags.

Howard

Well, I wanted everyone to know that I love me wife and nobody to know I forgot to turn off the laser.

Howard