Not cool, bro. I'm starting to think you're not the kind of guy I want dating my wife.

Zack

I just vomited on a lot of clowns.

Sheldon

Bernadette's Dad: Hey, Sheldon, what do you say we go outside and throw around the old pigskin.
Sheldon: This is a Jewish house. I don't think they have pigskins.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Did someone say "pigskin"?

She's so tiny. It's funny when she's mad.

Sheldon

Bernadette's Dad: I don't know what's scarier: the bathroom clowns or the woman that put them there.
Sheldon: All I know is you can only fit one of her in a car.

Sheldon (burping): Two, three, eight, four, six. That's all I can do without throwing up.
Bernadette's Dad: That's not what I expected when you said you were gonna burp "pie."
Mrs. Wolowitz: Did someone say pie?

Sheldon: They passed against a nickel defense. They should have run off tackle.
Bernadette's Dad: How the hell do you know that?
Sheldon: My father loved football. He always made me watch before I was allowed to do my homework.

It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without an Indian providing the food.

Raj

Penny: "Want of Understanding"? What does that even mean?
Amy: Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.

Oh, oh, oh, I have a reason. It could be because you said yes to marrying Zack, but every time Leonard's proposed he's gotten a resounding no. Yeah, that's just off the top of my head.

Sheldon

Amy: No traffic. We're sailing.
Sheldon: Yep. Like we're on a ship. Coming from Africa to America.
Amy: Sheldon, that's completely inappropriate. You can't keep comparing yourself to a slave.
Sheldon: Yes, Miss Amy.

Penny: We had one of those silly fake weddings.
Leonard: Penny ... you know those are real, right?
Penny: No, they're not.
Leonard: Yeah, they are.
Penny: No, they're not.
Leonard: Yeah, they are.
Sheldon: He's right.
Amy: They're real.
Penny: But, it didn't seem real.

The Big Bang Theory Season 7 Episode 9 Quotes

Leonard: It'd actually be nice to not hear Sheldon complain about my cooking all day.
Sheldon: Yo ... uh, excuse me, but every year you prepare a terrible meal and every year I criticize it. Do our traditions mean nothing to you?

Raj: That's horrible. Why would you push a cow over? They're sacred.
Penny: Oh, stop it. I've seen you eat, like, a million hamburgers.
Raj: Hey, an animal can be both sacred and delicious.