The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Quotes
I assure you, you'll be sorry you wasted your money on an iPod when Microsoft comes out with theirs.
Sheldon
Leonard: What am I doing in your spam folder?
Sheldon: I put you there after you forwarded me a picture of a cat playing the piano entitled, "this is funny."
Sheldon: Roommates agree that Friday nights shall be reserved for watching Joss Whedon's brilliant new series, "Firefly."
Leonard: Does that really need to be in the agreement?
Sheldon: Might as well settle it now; it's going to be on for years.
Wheaton: Embrace the Dark Side!
Sheldon: That's not even from your franchise!
Can I get you something? A feminine hygiene product or a bowel-regulating yogurt?
Sheldon
Dr. Plimpton, Penny is a waitress who doesn't understand the role gasoline plays in the internal combustion engine.
Sheldon
Go away! She wants New Delhi, not Kosher Deli!
Raj
Leonard: You still have a cold?
Raj: Maybe, but I don't care. That's the good thing about NyQuil -- it's like, 10% booze. I call it the "nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, so you can talk to girls medicine."
Leonard: Well, it wasn't my fault.
Sheldon: The implication being that you somehow tripped and fell into her lady parts?
Dr. Plimpton: What if there's a disaster that destroys all of the USB ports?
Sheldon: Then there's really no reason to live, is there?
Leonard: I think any university would want you -- except, of course, any university that had already had you, because they would have already wanted you, before they, you know, got you.
Sheldon: From the mind that brought you "hi-lo."
Dr. Cooper, thank goodness! I completely forgot your address, but then I remembered that I had written it on my hand. Lucky for me, I didn't confuse it with what I had written on my other hand, which were the coordinates for a newly-discovered neutron star, because if I tried to go there, I'd be crushed by hypergravity.
Dr. Plimpton