The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Quotes
Leonard: You can't put that on Snapchat.
Raj: Fine, I'll put it on Facebook like a caveman.
Penny: When Leonard's feeling anxious, I make him take a long walk.
Amy: Does that help?
Penny: For a while, then he comes back.
I was counting on that money. I need to make as much as my wife so I don't have to try so hard in bed.
Howard
I now pronounce you husband and wife... and weird other husband who came with the apartment.
Bernadette
Sheldon: Why do people cry at weddings?
Mary: They're practicing for what's coming later.
Penny: Your parents are old. Anything unspeakable is finished by 9:30. Go to sleep!
I hope you're right. Because a grown man living with his brother and his brother's wife is weird.
Sheldon
So did you defile my mother, or not?
Sheldon
Excuse me, that is my mother you're talking about! However accurately...
Sheldon
I'm telling ya, I'm not on drugs. The government is out to get me!
Howard
Alfred: I have prayed to God many times... to turn my wife into a pillar of salt.
Mary: Well he came close. He turned her into a block of ice.
You can't ignore it. It's not that postcard that says it's time to go back to the dentist.
Raj
