The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Quotes
Leonard: Come on, Dennis, I'll show you the rec center. They've got Nautilus equipment.
Dennis: Do I look like I lift weights?
Leonard: Not heavy ones
Ladies and gentlemen... honored daughters... while Mr. Kim, by virtue of his youth and naivety, has fallen prey to the inexplicable need for human contact, let me step in and assure you that my research will go on uninterrupted and that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me. Thank you
Sheldon
Wolowitz: We need a hot 15-year-old Asian girl with a thing for smart guys.
Penny: What?
Leonard: Howard, that's racist. Any fifteen year old girl will do the trick
If we were in India this would be simpler. Five minutes with her dad, 20 goats and a laptop, and it would be done
Raj [on approaching a girl]
Leonard: You speak English really well.
Dennis: So do you... except for your tendency to end sentences with prepositions.
Leonard: What are you talking about?
Dennis: That.
Sheldon: He's not wrong
The local cuisine was a little more sausage-based than I'm used to, and the result was an internal blitzkrieg, with my lower intestine playing the part of Czechoslovakia
Sheldon [on studying in Germany]
[at The Cheesecake Factory]
Penny: Why didn't you just have soup at home?
Sheldon: Penny, I have an IQ of 187. Don't you imagine if there were a way for me to have soup at home, I would have thought of it?
Penny: You can have soup delivered.
Sheldon: I did not think of that
Leonard: Sheldon, don't you think you're overreacting?
Sheldon: When I'm lying comatose in a hospital, relying on inferior minds to cure me, these Jell-O cultures and my accompanying notes will give them a fighting chance
Sheldon: Checkmate.
Leonard: Argh, again?
Sheldon: Obviously you're not well-suited for three-dimensional chess. Perhaps three-dimensional Candyland would be your speed
Leonard: Alright, get some rest and drink plenty of fluids.
Sheldon: What else would I drink? Solids? Gases? Ionized plasma?
Leonard: Drink whatever you want
Sheldon: Anyway, the housekeeper in the faculty residence didn't speak any English. When I finaly managed to convince her I was sick, she said, "Möchtest du eine Darmspülung?"
Penny: What does that mean?
Sheldon: Based on what happened next, I assume it means, "Would you like an enema?"
If influenza was only contagious after symptoms appear, it would have died out thousands of years ago. Somewhere between tool using and cave painting, Homo habilis would have figured out to kill the guy with the runny nose
Sheldon
