Leonard: Picked up your dresses?
Amy: Yup. The tailor had to take mine in and let Penny's out. Best day of my life.
Sheldon: What about the day you met me?
Amy: I stand by my statement.

Leonard: What kind of DNA is this anyway?
Sheldon: I was trying to design the genetic code of an advanced race of human being. One of my rare failures actually.
Leonard: What went wrong?
Sheldon: The balls kept sticking to my pants.

This might be the glue talking but that was a very pleasurable hundred and thirty-nine and a half hours.

Leonard

Leonard: I'm done enabling him. Like, this is HIS spot. And the thermostat has to be set to his comfort level even though he doesn't even live here anymore and I'm always chilly.
Raj: Is that why you wear a hoodie all the time?
Leonard: YES.

You're also married. You have a successful career. You no longer dress like you're trying to attract sailors by the wharf.

Sheldon

Penny: I used to be the bartender back there.
Sheldon: That's true. And now there's a completely different woman who botched my drink order. How hard is sixty-five percent Coke, thirty-five percent Diet Coke?
Penny: Judging by the look on her face, it's at least one percent saliva.

Penny: You have a ton of friends. You got married. Moved into a new apartment. You wore a baseball hat that one time. heck, you've had sex almost as many times as I have fingers.
Sheldon: More. By this many.
Penny: You dawg.
Sheldon: It was the Avengers trailer.

Penny: You know, you go on and on about wanting things to stay the same but you've changed a lot since I met you.
Sheldon: Oh, you are a mean drunk.

Y'know, you're the only person who could win the biggest prize in science and still be upset about it.

Penny

You need to focus on the positive. You won a Nobel Prize. I slapped Sheldon. A lot of dreams came true today!

Leonard

Raj: You're allowed to get a haircut.
Amy: I know. But I should've done it gradually. Y'know, like, maybe three hundred tiny haircuts over a ten year period.

Sheldon: This is a nightmare!
Penny: What's with him?
Leonard: He won a Nobel Prize and his wife looks amazing.
Penny: Oh, yeah. Got it.

TBBT Quotes

It's very simple. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and, as it always has, rock crushes scissors

Sheldon

Okay, please don't take this the wrong way, but I'd rather swim butt-naked across the Ganges with a paper cut on my nipple and die a slow agonizing death from a viral infection than work with you

Raj [to Sheldon]