Leonard: You're good at revenge. How would you get him back.
Penny: Well, my go to move is usually sleep with the person's boyfriend, but I kind of feel like I'm already doing that.

Sheldon: Come along, Amy. I know when I'm not wanted.
Amy: I dont think you do, but alright.

It's not my fault I'm bad at sharing. I skipped kindergarten.

Sheldon

If rock is so great, how come paper beats it?

Sheldon

While you're bothering the world's most famous scientist, be sure to show him how funny he looks getting stuck under our dishwasher.

Bernadette

Honestly, I just want you to be quiet, but I'm all out of taffy.

Amy

Who leaves their bike in the hallway? You know, if I knew how to ride one, I'd steal it.

Sheldon

Everything is stupid, and I want to go home.

Sheldon

Sheldon: Would you care for a brandy?
Amy: No, thank you.
Sheldon: Good choice. It's disgusting.

Sheldon: And you realize what the next step is.
Amy: Set up a second culture and try to replicate our results.
Sheldon: Uh, no. We lock that door, lower our underpants a little, and make a baby.

Maybe there are other things we have in common. Come dinner time, do you enjoy eating food?

Raj

Penny: How come you don't ever eat broccoli?
Leonard: I'm married. I don't have to be attractive.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.