Howard: How'd you even get that up the stairs?
Sheldon: I said to myself, I think I can, I think I can. And then I couldn't.

Penny: Alright, you guys ready to get crazy?
Amy: Well, the bra under here ain't beige.

Amy: Is there anything we can do?
Bernadette: Sure. Open up a college fund, shop for life insurance, and in the laundry room there's a mountain of dirty laundry. Wash it or burn it. Your choice.

This doesn't happen very often, but here comes a hug. [pause] Oh dear, I have to tinkle again.

Sheldon

Leonard: So, you're gonna throw me under the bus?
Penny: I'm gonna throw you so hard, I'll probably win a stuffed animal.

Penny: How is this any different than you making me live with Sheldon?!
Sheldon: Hey, I shared my Honey Nut Cheerios with you!

Penny: Wow, I find that hard to believe.
Leonard: That a bunch of awkward scientists with no social skills would invent a machine to do it for them?
Penny: I take it back. I believe it.

Raj: I broke up with her.
Leonard: Why?
Raj: She said she didn't want to see me anymore, and I found that insulting.

Amy: I remember when we signed our first relationship agreement.
Sheldon: You seem to be forgetting the no nostalgia clause.

I'd pull this car over and kick you out, but if Penny dumps me, you're all I got.

Leonard

Sheldon: At our age, why don't we call it man's night?
Leonard: Because we just spent all our allowance on comic books.

Pink wine and pizza bagels? It's like 8th grade all over again.

Penny

TBBT Quotes

Stephen Hawking: You made an arithmetic mistake on page two. It was quite a boner.
Sheldon: No, no ... that can't be right. I-I don't make arithmetic mistakes.
Stephen Hawking: Are you saying I do?
Sheldon: Oh, no, no, no, of course not. It's just, I was thinking.... Oh, gosh, golly, I made a boo-boo and I gave it to Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking: Great, another fainter.

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.