Penny: What team did you get?
Leonard: Hufflepuff. From Harry Potter.

Penny: That's not what the forest smells like.
Sheldon: Well how would I know?

I was enjoying some virtual reality. You ruined it with your actual face.

Sheldon

Oh man, when I come out of the closer I'm gonna nail those guys. [pause] Yeah. I heard it. Shut up.

Raj

I have an old teddy bear I secretly wiped my nose on for years.

Sheldon

Oh, they went to the store to get solder. Which is metal you melt to make science things.

Penny

Wouldn't it be funny if after all your years of hard work, I'm the one who makes the big scientific discovery?

Penny

Soup, sandwiches, and emasculation. Just like my mom used to make.

Leonard

Howard: See he's not wearing a tie.
Leonard: Well, he's a patent attorney. Maybe his tie is pending.

Are you suggesting a limited liability cooperation? Because I did not LLC that coming.

Sheldon

Is the fetus helping you? Because that's cheating.

Howard

Penny: Sheldon, did you draft the contract?
Sheldon: You bet I did.
Penny [to Amy]: You're gonna make out so hard tonight.

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.