You're more than just my roommate. You're my partner.

Leonard

Bernadette: What kind of cake do you like?
Sheldon: My favorite is chocolate with strawberry frosting, three layers. And if there's writing on it, make sure it's not all caps. I don't want my dessert yelling at me.

Can we please drop this subject and pick a new one? I suggest, how thick can a soup get before it becomes a stew. The answer -- it may surprise you.

Sheldon

Penny: Wait a minute, you mention his birthday and he vanishes?
Leonard: Where's that information been this whole time?

Bernadette: How is that a drunk text?
Amy: He used a period instead of a question mark. He's so wasted!

Leonard: You know what we should do?
Sheldon: All go out and get vasectomies so this doesn't happen to us?

I shouldn't be raising a kid! I don't even eat my own vegetables.

Howard

Leonard: Why, 'oh no'?
Sheldon: Because this changes everything. What about comic book night? What about playing games together? What about our trips to Disneyland? How can we do those things with a child around?!"

We're gonna be parents! We're gonna get to board planes first! I'm finally gonna get to see what's in that family bathroom at the mall!

Howard

Bernadette: Well why did you put your finger near it's mouth?
Howard: Poor judgement, obviously.

Penny: Now is that a smart thing to say on a holiday that's basically national sex night?
Leonard: I'm sorry. You're pretty. I'm stupid.

Penny: That's crazy. We have reservations.
Leonard: I know.
Penny: So what did you say?
Leonard: Thanks, sorry to bother you. But I said it like a badass.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon