The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Season 5 Quotes
Quick question. I missed it in the briefing. How much urine do these suits hold?
Howard
The uterus quivers, does it not?
Amy
Leonard: What are you doing?
Amy: We're playing doctor. Star Trek style.
Sheldon: I'm in hell, Leonard. Don't stop.
Bernadette's father: You go up to that space station and you make me proud.
Howard: Um, okay.
Bernadette's father: You got a problem with that?
Howard: All right, look, I'm going to level with you. I'm terrified about going into space. What if I don't make it back?
Bernadette's father: It's gonna be okay, son.
Howard: You really think so?
Bernadette's father: Of course. A pretty girl like Bernadette ... she'll find a new guy.
Sheldon: Can I ask you a question about women?
Leonard: I got you that book last year, wasn't everything in there?
Leonard: I'm sorry! I did, I crossed a line I didn't mean to.
Penny: Who says something like that right in the middle of sex?
Leonard: I don't know, it just came out! People say weird things during sex all the time.
Penny: Okay, well they sure as hell don't say that.
Leonard: It was heat of the moment.
Penny: No, the heat of the moment is "Oh yeah, just like that." Not "will you marry me?"
Leonard: I'm sorry, just-just give me another chance.
Penny: Why, so you can crawl under the covers and go, "Hey, baby, wanna go look for houses in neighborhoods with good schools?"
I love strawberry Quik. It's my favorite pink fluid narrowly beating out Pepto-Bismol.
Sheldon
And, I promise after waiting four months fast is what you are gonna get.
Leonard
I look like the Flash about to be married.
Sheldon
A little. But not more than your urethras will be after whatever's in those pants swims up them.
Sheldon
Howard: Let me explain the difference between you and me. You watch 'Star Trek'; I live it.
Raj: Oh, please, I don't remember the episode of 'Star Trek' where the guy never goes to space and brags about it in a tuxedo store.
Howard: Make all the jokes you want. There is only one of us here brave enough to almost do what I almost did.
Yes! Thank you! Oh! Oh ... I'm not gonna die in space! I'm gonna die the way God intended in my late 50s with a heart full of pastrami.
Howard
