The Conners
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCThe Conners Season 2 Episode 7: "Slappy Holidays" Quotes
Darlene: DJ, Mary, Mark, Harris, they’re all going to be there.
Dan: Sure, but they’re all boring.
Darlene: Alright, fine, what about Odessa? She’s not boring, she’s a thief and a pothead.
Dan: Nope, I banned her from the house.
Darlene: Oh please, just this one day. I really cannot take any more of Harris moping around here.
Dan: Sure you can. The whole family spent the last 40 years putting up with your moping.
Jackie: Wow, somebody smells like weed covered up poorly by Febreeze.
Odessa: Oh, that’s me.
Louise: Is leaving an option?
Harris: Apparently leaving is only an option for strangers. If you’re family, you’re trapped here.
Darlene: Oh good, you finally get it.
Jackie: Hey, don’t yell at Becky because you’re in over your head in all parts of your life.
Darlene: Hilarious coming from you.
Jackie: No, you know what’s hilarious? It’s the person who was sleeping around and neglecting her kids is the one telling everyone else how to live their life.
Jackie: You think you’re the almighty decision-maker around here? You think you can replace Roseanne as the mom of this family? What a joke.
Dan: Jackie, that’s enough.
Darlene: You want to talk about my mom. Let’s talk about her because she spent her entire life trying to fix you and every time she picked you up you fell down. You know why? Because you’re a loser and you were the bane of her existence.
Darlene: I can’t believe she slapped me.
Dan: Really, I can’t believe she waited this long to slap you.
Darlene: What?
Dan: Think about it. As far as she’s concerned you stole her inheritance.
Darlene: Well, that’s her problem.
Dan: No, it’s our problem, the family’s.
