That's because all the lawyers you talked to are gutless mama's boys.

Pete

Nick: We are donut people, not pastry people. Pastries try too hard and they're expensive. And until some of our clients pay back the money they owe us: Just. Plain. Donuts.

Nick: Just come down here and bail me out, will ya?
Pete: That might take a little time. I have a little work I got to do on the website and I think I have a haircut coming up in about an hour or so.
Nick: Will you stop screwing around and just get down here and get me out of here? C'mon the po-po is about to throw me in the Click for crying out loud.

What's gonna come first, your career or your life?

Nick

Go in there and tell "The Matrix" that he better jump back into that computer

Nick

Maybe you can get a pirate next time. Or hey, how about a ninja client from the Internet?

Nick

Pete: Not sure if that's the most lawyer-y of images, but all right.
Zoe: It's gonna bring in clients.
Nick: You're gonna bring in the hounds!

Let me see that Nick power. Grrr. There you go, c'mon, hit that unspecified gym equipment. Yeah, make it sorry it ever came off of the factory line!

Pete

We are representing the most hated woman in all of Las Vegas. This is gonna be great!

Pete

The law doesn't care about the truth.

Nick

Never trust a man who spits when he's angry.

Nick

Pete: What is wrong with you?
Nick: She's guilty, Pete.
Pete: You're supposed to be a tourist in there, not the fricken DA. You sound like that nerd, Cole.

The Defenders Quotes

Pretend you're a professional.

Nick

Stop having your wife followed or I'll file a restraining order myself.

Pete