I thought what it meant to be a good person through the lens of ethical behavior was just a piece of art floating through the universe. And then over the next three and a half years the word "ethics" has appeared on the front page of the newspaper more days than not. And that was completely coincidental. .....So I think that's good, but lucky for us so they don't know anything that's going on on Earth so they can't comment on it. And we wanted to avoid the political climate anyway because the current political climate has little to do with the history of philosophy.
-Michael Schur (September 16, 2019)

Janet: What do you think happens when people walk through the door? It's the only thing in the universe I don't know.
Eleanor: I don't know either. The wave returns to the ocean. What the ocean does with the water after that is anyone's guess. But as a very wise not-robot once told me, the true joy's in the mystery.

Jason's gone. Tahani's off doing her thing, and I'm not ready to go. So if you leave, then I'm alone here. I was alone my whole life, and I told myself I liked it that way, but I don't. I like being with you.


The judge gave me the power to make you an actual human.


I am returning my damn essence to the damn fabric of the damn universe!


I think my final mission might be to get you to go through the system. Take the test.


I spent most of my life pretending to help people. If I were an architect, I could do it for real.


Tahani: You have a rockin' bod.
Eleanor: Did you just turn the tables on me?

I'm never going to forget you.


Chidi: How did you know?
Jason: It wasn't like I heard a bell ring or anything. I just suddenly had this calm feeling. Like the air inside my lungs was suddenly the air outside my body. It was peaceful.

Jason: Hey, guys! I'm back. Go-karting with monkeys got boring really fast.
Michael: It did?!
Eleanor: Oh no.
Chidi: Dammit!

Listen carefully before I forget how to say this. You gotta help us. We are so screwed.


The Good Place Quotes

If soulmates do exist, they're not found. They're made. People meet, they get a good feeling, and then they get to work building a relationship. Like your parents. They didn't magically stay together because you proved they should.


Chidi: Where is everyone?
Eleanor: Who knows? Maybe they finally figured out clam chowder is disgusting, 'cause it's basically a savory latte with bugs in it.