The Last Man on Earth
Sundays 9:30 PMThe Last Man on Earth Season 2 Episode 11: "Pitch Black" Quotes
Oh farts, oh farts, oh farts, oh farts...
Mike
I miss you, Mike. You're such a good little sister.
Young Phil
You know what else has a permanent hole in it? Your head! Get it together. You can't give up. You just came from outer space, you freakin' fart-face. Now wake up!
Young Phil
So, Pat, you always been a seamen? By that I mean a sailor, not, you know, sperm.
Mike
You know, sometimes I'll anchor offshore at night. Big cities -- Miami, New York, New Orleans. Not one light. Pitch black. Pitch black.
Pat
Ohhh, there's a very good chance he's going to kill and eat me.
Mike [to himself]
Mike: I was always a chocolate banana man, myself.
Pat: Wow, Sigmund Freud, he'd have a field day with you, boy.
Mike: I bet he would.
Pat: 'Cuz, the banana is the rough shape of the male anatomy.
Mike: No, yeah, I got all that. Yeah. Made that connection.
Pat: And chocolate on it? On a banana?
Mike: No, I got that one, too. No, it was -- The joke was good as it was, man. Didn't need all that.
Pat: One time, I saw a bag of bones wearing a bikini.
Mike: I'm so sorry, that must have been awful.
Pat: Well, I ain't gonna lie to you, sight of a bikini still does it for me. Skin or no.
Mike: Yeah, I'm more of a skin guy, myself.
Pat: Different strokes.
Young Phil: You beefed it so hard.
Mike: YOU beefed it!
Oh Jesus, you laid in something. It's like, virus.
Pat
Mike: "RIP Spaceman. Cause of death: The 'goverment.'" Almost got it right.
