The Last Man on Earth
Sundays 9:30 PMThe Last Man on Earth Season 3 Quotes
Carol Pilbasian: I want to go back to the motorhome and have honeymoon sex with my husband.
Tandy: Let me go wash my balls.
Carol: Keep them dirty.
Tandy: Carol Pilbasian Miller.
Carol: Just kidding, please wash them.
Carol Pilbasian: Tandy, you can't bring dead things back to life.
Tandy: You tell that to Jesus Christ... and his buddy, Frankenstein.
Carol: I guess you have a point.
Carol Pilbasian: You can't force someone to be your family. Who does that?
Tandy: Hey Carol, the day you forced me to marry you was the best day of my life.
I don't want to hear that there's no magic in this world because you David Copperfielded me, bigly.
Tandy
Okay, good bye. G is for gone. O is for outside. Another O reaffirming the previous outside. D is for duh, as in it's a no brainer that she is outside. B is for bye, that's a part of the word. Y is for yes, you're on the right track with all of the letters thus far. E.. e, e, e.. eagle!
Tandy Miller
Just saying we're wasting time is a waste of time in itself! But he has a point.
Tandy Miller
Look Carol, this might be hard for you to hear but I need to tell it to you straight. Todd is flat out cray. I'm on your side here. Gail definitely didn't leave because of you. Most likely scenario, she went out to grab you a gift, slipped on some sort of peel, likely banana but who knows, not ruling out citrus and now she's lying at the bottom of some ravine or like impaled on a security fence, definitely dead and all because she loved you so much.
Tandy Miller
Would a penis compliment make you feel better?
Tandy Miller
Carol: Has anyone seen my mom? She didn't sleep in her bed last night. She said she was going on vacation but she didn't pack a bag and none of her wines are gone.
Erica: Oh don't worry, Gail does that. She'll be back in a couple of days, reeking of booze but she'll be high on life... and some drugs.
Carol: That's such a relief.
You can push me away all you want but I'm going to be like a freaking boomerang, coming right back every time because that's what you do for the people you love.
Todd
If she's been with Todd, I don't touch that bod.
Tandy Miller
You are the gal-dang mom for ding-dong sake, you gal-dang ding-a-ling.
Carol Pilbasian
