Popular The League Quotes
Kevin: In the middle of the meeting, I realized--there's really nothing that a judge does that a fantasy commissioner doesn't.
Jenny: Except for sentencing people to prison.
Andre: Guys, I'm not bald. Look, I have, like, very, you know, thin, like, clear hair.
Pete: So these are basically like those clear friends you played with growing up?
Ruxin: Or like that clear girlfriend you had at camp that let you finger her in the water ski shack?
The S.A.T.s are culturally biased. That's why I got high and rode a snowmobile through a mall instead of taking them.
Taco
Treat me with the respect that you treat these Zubaz!
Jenny
Jim McMahon: What are you, high?
Taco: Yeah, but that's got nothing to do with this.
We're working out with jizz, holmes!
Frank 'The Body' Gibiatti
Jenny: You were treating me like a lady!
Frank 'The Body' Gibiatti: And I watch ladies pee!
Tug: He watches every lady pee!
Frank: Not every lady.
Tug: That's the only way he can get hard!
I'm gonna install a safe word, so that if I ever feel uncomfortable during the game, I'm gonna say 'Fidelio,' and you guys will know what to do.
Andre
Taco: Kevin, can I use your TV to play Sega Genesis? I just got 'Joel Madden Football,' and I'm getting good at it.
Ruxin: 'Joel Madden Football'?
Taco: Yeah, he's the drummer of Good Charlotte. I guess he just really likes football or something.
Taco: They left for their cruise, so they asked me to take care of Dicko.
Kevin: You know it's Ditka.
Repair Guy: I don't know who teaches a dog to bark at someone's dick!
Taco: This guy does!
Taco: I want to be able to post whatever I want on DallasCowboys.com.
Jerry Jones: Post what?
Taco: Musings, pictures of shoes I like, drawings of historical figures interacting with food in unusual ways, portraits of people I know drawn from memory, sex photos.
Jerry Jones: No.
