The Magicians
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on SyFyThe Magicians Season 5 Episode 9: "Cello Squirrel Daffodil" Quotes
Plum: You’re telling me this guy whacks off to people he watches from the astral plane?
Penny: Yeah.
Plum: Do we really need his help?
Penny: Look, in a hundred years, he’s going to be a really nice guy.
Hyman: It just won’t feel like Othello until I’m in blackface.
Penny: OK, so he’s got a ways to go.
Julia: El, help here.
Eliot: What’s the point? Once we’re done what reason does he have to keep us alive?
Julia: I don’t think he’ll kill us, you. I saw the way he talked to you. Nobody is that hurt if they don’t care.
Eliot: I attract the best guys don’t I?
Julia: You attract basically everyone, and with that broad of an appeal, you’re bound to magnetize a couple of questionable monarchs. We will figure something out. I promise.
Hyman: Did you do this?
Penny: Do what?
Hyman: Brakebills has given me the icy mitt, I’ve been streeted. Oh my god, expelled. Someone ratted me out to the faculty.
Penny: Well, it wasn’t us. Someone must have overheard our conversation.
Hyman: What? Eavesdropping on a private moment, who would do that?
Plum: You constantly, which is why you’re getting expelled.
Hyman: Did you give her permission to use irony in this way?
Hyman: What am I doing? I came to Brakebills to learn. You know the lesson of my expulsion is clear as a creek: Maybe -- and I know this is crazy -- but maybe it is wrong to spy on people in the shower.
Penny: Well …
Hyman: I know. Then why did God give you the ability to spy on people in the shower?
Penny: Look, I can’t tell you how to live your life. Being a traveler can feel like a burden, yes, but not being a traveler, not being able to use your gift, it’s worse, believe me. There’s no harm in looking, right?
Hyman: You’re a good egg, Penbrooke.
Penny: Hey, before I forget, any idea how I can score some tickets to the women’s Welters match? It’s in an hour.
Hyman: Women’s Welters has a match tonight? That’s not on the schedule.
Penny: Oh, it’s a surprise match. They’re probably in the locker room right now.
Hyman: Uh-huh, I see. I am going to need to fix packing by myself. In private.
Plum: What’s the point of having this stupid ability if we can’t change anything?
Penny: Who says there’s a point? You are born with this shit, and you spend the rest of your life trying to survive it, OK. Let’s go.
Plum: Or, you have it ripped away just when you figured out you wanted it. I am sorry your shit is broken, but the Penny I heard about wouldn’t give a damn if it fucks the future or not. He would do the right thing for his friend.
Penny: I guess having your shit break changes a person.
Plum: OK, so what kind of person is new Penny going to be?
Fen: Tell us everything that happened.
Margo: Screw that. Tell us what’s up with the Dark King. Who is he, where does he come from, and how do we kill him?
Plover: Well, I heard the same story you did. The Dark King showed up shortly after the arrival of the Takers, that only he could vanquish them. So I was curious. Who was this magician? What was his story? So I sought him out, and I was shocked to discover I knew him.
Fen: Ah, you are good at telling stories.
Plover: Thank you. In order to talk about who he is and where he actually came from, we need to look further back to a time before Martin Chatwin became the Beast.
Margo: Really?
Fen: Shhh.
Lance: Rupert, is that really you?
Julia: Lance?
Seb: Yes, yes, it’s me. Finally, you’re here. My love, my stars, my heart. I sound like a fool. You cannot know; do you know how much I missed you?
Lance: What took you so long?
Seb: Lance, I’ve been trying.
Lance: You left me.
Seb: No.
Lance: You abandoned me.
Seb: No. I needed to stop my brother.
Lance: And now I’m dead, and you can never die. It’s cold here. I’m so alone. Oh, I’d almost given up so many times.
Seb: No, for god’s speed, don’t. I will not break my promise to you, OK. I finally know what to do. We’ll be together soon, so soon.
Lance: How?
Seb: Just wait by the door.
Lance: I’ve tried. I can’t bust through it.
Seb: I know, but you will be able to soon. That’s why I reached out to you to tell you to wait by the door.
Lance: OK, OK. Rupert.
Seb: Listen to me. Wait by the door.
Alice: You almost had me, just peanut butter and turkey sandwiches.
Zelda: I’m not following.
Alice: We’re in the Library where there’s glitches because of hedges, right? So why do these glitches keep happening during lunar intervals? Why are the Neitherlands affected by the earth’s moon? Makes no sense. Where am I really?
George: Earth, which you manage to figure out every motherfucking time.
Alice: What is this? Some sort of illusion.
George: Psychic spell. Basically, you’re in “The Matrix,” which means we’re still on earth, hence glitches.
Seb: Is he all right?
Julia: What do you care?
Seb: It was never my intention to hurt him.
Julia: You think that matters. I lost someone too, and I loved him so much. I know the pain. It’s not an excuse to hurt people just because you want him back.
Seb: Maybe you didn’t love him as much as you think because you don’t understand. I have work to do.
Plover: See what you’re up against. Fillory can never be free so long as the Dark King reigns.
Margo: One thing I’m confused about: Where do you fit in to all of this?
Plover: Well, Rupert recognized me. He’s always disliked me. He’s the one who cursed me with the tongue twisters. I shall find no happiness in Fillory so long as he’s around.
Margo: So after you leave here what? You just gonna hit the streets?
Plover: Oh hardly. I shall write. The things I have seen, the stories I can tell.
Fen: His stories are very good.
Margo: It’s not exactly kid appropriate.
Plover: Oh vexing, oh flattery flophouse.
Fen: Did you really have to do that? He seemed like such a nice …
Margo: Pedophile. He’s grooming you Fen because you act like you’re 12.
Fen: Oh gods.
Margo: Wait, so you’re saying Martin tried and screwed up or whatever.
Plover: He was thwarted by someone heroic who knew what he could become. Martin’s own brother Rupert. Rupert Sebastian Chatwin.
Fen: Oh my gods. What a twist. You’re such a natural at this.
Plover: He realized that the only way to stop his brother was sacrifice, so he tied himself to the conduit before his brother could. When Martin discovered what had happened, he was furious. He couldn’t kill his own brother, but he could curse him with eternal sleep. All the people of Fillory thought he was dead.
Fen: What happened?
Plover: You happened. You brought surges of magic so huge you woke Rupert up, and he brought the Takers, and then when he held them at bay, the Fillorians in gratitude made him High King.
Fen: But why did he do all that?
Margo: Yeah. If he was so good why did he become so evil?
Plover: Because while he slumbered he lost the one thing he cared about: the man he loved.
