The Magicians
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on SyFyThe Magicians Quotes
Overlord Terrence: Funny thing about doing the same thing over and over again: You learn how to do it better. I suppose that’s the true purpose of a library, no? Ah, your treasured tombs. Each one a life, a destiny. I’m most curious about who my next few wives will be. You never know Alice. Let’s go find our books, shall we? Something to add, Madam Librarian?
Zelda: Yes. If you really want to know your future, you better be able to speedread.
Margo: Give me a phaser and a red shirt.
Male centurion: What?
Margo: Yeah, just don’t.
Margo: What are we looking at here?
Male centurion: His Majesty wants the kingdom to witness him saving subjects from the Takers. These are in almost every room in the castle, most of the taverns, and …
Margo: It’s fucking Fox News.
Male centurion: Fox is all lies. No one would ever believe their news.
Kady: You met the nice me. Here’s the real me: Fuck off. What?
Fogg: Well, I take the anonymous part of Magicians Anonymous very seriously.
Kady: So you quit drinking?
Fogg: Thirty-three days, six hours, 19 minutes of skin peeling, soul-searing hell ago, yeah.
Overlord Terrence: How do you do? I’m Visigoth Overload Terrance. Apologizes for the mess, but recall I did announce our incursion and asked you most politely to drop all your defenses and surrender, having given my word that you would be absolutely safe.
Alice: The word of a barbarian?
Zelda: Actually, Visigoths are famous for always keeping their word.
Alice: That’s weird.
Overlord Terrence: My dear, if you would be so kind.
Alice: Look, I’m sorry, I’m just a little confused here, but you seem …
Overlord Terrance: Educated? Polite to a fault? We seek to acquire only the deepest knowledge, highest art, and most illuminating philosophy. Is it any wonder a little might rub off?
The Binder: The Binder stared at Julia, wondering if she’d learned nothing from her interactions with deities.
Julia: I don’t have a lot of choice here. If you can’t do this the earth is doomed.
The Binder: ‘Again,’ the Binder asked, bored. Still the Binder wondered why on earth would Julia trust this Clarion.
Julia: I don’t, but the options here are narrowing.
The Binder: As a book, the Binder enjoyed any opportunity to teach and here was a word Julia desperately needed to understand: no.
Clarion: You have one thing to trade Julia for one miracle. So your miracle can be to save your boyfriend or your world.
Julia: But you could save both.
Clarion: You know humans have exploited gods since you staggered upright. The deals that we make need to be strict, so this deal – one book, one miracle.
Julia: You’re really gonna make me choose? The planet or him?
Clarion: Yeah, I know it’s total bullshit, right? You see why I want to be human, like I can’t feel the melodies I’m goddess of, can’t bend the rules I didn’t make.
Julia: Don’t put this on your kind. This is you choosing.
Clarion: But the one who has to choose is you.
Zelda: If I could do it all again, I’d be a better mother, a truer friend. But I wasn’t. I’m not because I’ve given my life to this. It’s all I am; it’s all I have. I can’t lose everything.
Alice: You can. Believe me, I have.
Zelda: I’m sorry about Quentin, but this is different.
Alice: It’s not because whoever, whatever you loved that gets ripped away from you, it stays alive inside of us, in anyone you share it with.
Zelda: I can’t. I can’t. I’m not strong enough.
Clarion: But the way you’re imagining the harmonic convergence, isn’t quite enough. It’s so much worse. So when all the spells cast by all the magicians go haywire, you’re gonna get earthquakes, fire, drought, starvation, plague, and then comes cannibalism.
Julia: Um, is there anything you can do?
Clarion: I could stop it. How’d that be?
Julia: Great, but I’m assuming there’s something you want in return.
Clarion: Yeah. You have dealt with a god or two.
Julia: Oh, fucking hell.
Clarion: Oh sorry. Did you want Hades? I could get word to him, but what a dick.
Eliot: Well, um, there’s something he probably didn’t tell you about: the mosaic. Um, there was this timeline. We somehow remembered pieces of it, these beautiful pieces, and we loved each other for a really, really long time. And, um, so you know, uh, I promptly told him to fuck off, and then, you know, he died for me.
Alice: Eliot. Eliot, I have done a lot of bad things, and I have hurt people. The one thing that I hold on to is that I know deep down that I was just doing my best. Were you doing the best that you could?
Eliot: Unfortunately, at the time, yes. I never even got to talk to him again; he just died.
Fen: Margo, can I saw one thing? I’m sorry I slept with Josh. We were just lonely …
Margo: Fen, stop apologizing. I don’t own Josh’s penis, and I don’t want to.
Fen: But you seem so …
Margo: Can I have a complicated emotion without having to resolve it so you can feel better?
