The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
FridaysThe Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Quotes
In its way, it was just like a marriage. It started with a contract, it ended with a lawsuit, and we never had sex.
Miriam "Midge" Maisel
Miriam, I have done a lot for you over the years. I jumped onto a subway track to retrieve your third favorite hat. I came to your apartment at four a.m. to kill a cockroach -- turned out to be a raisin. I’ve euthanized three of your elderly pets. I wrung out your wet bras on hotel terraces. I wrestled a Turkish police officer to the ground. I kept Ethel Merman away from you!
Susie Myerson
She saw a nervous breakdown and turned it into a career.
Miriam "Midge" Maisel
When Harry died, he had so many knives in his back, they had to bury him face down.
Aaron Lebowitz
I love everything about you. I love that you are on time. I love that you hang pictures straight and always, without measuring, perfectly centered. I love that you don’t lose money. I love that you never stain a wooden spoon. I love that you lift with your legs. And I love that I am your wife.
Zelda
However you like to make it is how I like to take it.
Joel Maisel
Well, I certainly was not going to let you get married at city hall. That’s a place for third weddings when everyone’s given up on you.
Rose Weissman
Everyone thinks it’s the ladies who are scared, but we have mothers, best friends, rabbis, school nurses, magazines scaring the shit out of us, the minute we get our first period. We’re ready. The men, however…
Shirley Maisel
You don’t take my calls. You won’t call me back. What are we, married?
Susie Myerson
Joel Maisel: Why do you keep coming here?
Miriam "Midge" Maisel: For the patdowns.
Maybe I could have Joel bring the kids down to see it. It’s gonna be years before I’ll let them watch my real show -- longer if they’re screwed up, and I need them for material.
Miriam "Midge" Maisel
I’m not pretending to give a shit about three animals. I don’t give a shit about two animals. One animal can go fuck itself.
Gordon Ford
