Max, you may now kaboom.

Look, I know you're miss techno gal and all, but I can follow a red dot moving on a map.

Billy [talking to Meredith]

Hey! That's my Christmas list, but feel free to write all over it.

Max

The big ones are always so slow.

Meredith [after knocking a suspect down]

Jake: What's with he hair?
Laura: I got into a fight with my hairdryer.

Zip it with the Santini.

Captain Santiani

Two guts don't make a right.

Captain Santiani

Next time you take a swing at a cop, don't miss.

Jake

Why do men insist on carrying big ass keys in their pockets?

Jake: What would it take for me to get a second chance?
Laura: You are relentless. For the last time, I am still working on forgiving you.

[after opening the door to reporters] It's officially ugly.

Damn I'm good!

Max

The Mysteries of Laura Season 2 Quotes

Jake: Is that a hickey on your neck?
Laura: You know what? Just don't look at my neck, look at your own neck.

Jake: [after getting out of the car] The DMV does offer a refresher course, free of charge.
Laura: Six years of partnering with Billy and he never once criticized my driving.
Jake: Not to your face.
Laura: Excuse me! I just spent the last five months driving your ass to physical therapy, cooking your ass nightly meals, washing your dirty ass clothes, cleaning your dirty ass bachelor pad and raising your smart ass sons. Have a little respect.
Jake: I have a lot of respect.
Laura: Damn right.