Dwight: Jim told me you can buy gaydar online.
Michael: That's ridiculous.
Dwight: Probably. He didn't tell the truth a lot.
Michael: Let's call him and get the website.
Dwight: Definitely.

Did you know that gay used to mean happy? When I was growing up it meant "lame." And now it means a man who makes love to other men. We're all homos. Homo sapiens.

Michael

(crying) Jim is g-gone!!! He's gone, I miss him so MUCH!! OOH, I cry myself to sleep!!! JIIIM!! (stops crying) False. I do not miss him.

Dwight

You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they are acting retarded. And I consider Oscar a friend.

Michael

Michael: I call everybody faggy. Why would anyone find that offensive?
Toby: I think Oscar would like it if you just used "lame" or something.
Michael: But that's what faggy means!

The Office Season 3 Episode 1 Quotes

I got them a toaster. They called off the wedding and gave the toaster back to me. I tried to return the toaster to the store, and they said they no longer sold that kind of toaster. So now my house has got two toasters.

Stanley

You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they are acting retarded. And I consider Oscar a friend.

Michael