The Office Season 4 Episode 11: "Night Out" Quotes
Like I said, it's not about the horniness, it's about the loneliness. And how can I be lonely with my boys? Like a famous person once said, Boys on the side. But I don't, I disagree, I say... let's hear it for the boys.
Michael
Ryan: No. Guys, I think my friend Troy might have a drug problem. What do I do?
Dwight: I think his species might have a higher tolerance than ours.
Michael: Shh, just stop. Here's what you do. You tell him that you're his friend and that you're gonna help him and that everyone's gonna be all right. And then you put a wire on him and you find out who's selling him drugs and then you get that guy and you flip up, turn him into a snitch. You follow that guy to the people who's really really bad. Been watching The Wire recently. I don't understand a word of it.
Michael: She washes dogs.
Ryan: You're doing it man.
Michael: I know. I don't wanna get ahead of myself, but I think I want her to meet my mom.
Ryan: Hey man, you ever think there's gonna be this massive nuclear holocaust, and after all the major nations are destroyed they'll just be the tribes in the jungle that rise up and survive? The jungle war fare's gonna rule the world?
Michael: Yeah, maybe.
Michael: Ok, Dwight grab your stuff, we're going to New York to party with Ryan and to meet girls.
Dwight: Yeah!
Andy: Oh yes! Count me in dudes. I am in some serious need of some bro' time. Old ball and chain's been a lot more chain than ball lately if you know what I'm saying.
Angela: I'm right here.
So I caught everyone before they left and I told them my idea, and they loved it. Because this is a group that respects good ideas... the one time a year they hear one.
Jim
Dwight: I don't understand why our website has to have social networking at all.
Jim: Yeah, I actually have to agree with Dwight on that one.
Ryan: It's all about creating a one stop shop consumer experience, alright? You're chatting with your friends, you're talking about the latest music, about the election; all of it is happening in our virtual paper store.
Jim: And then an older gentleman asked you "Boxers or briefs?"
Creed: I don't get the big fuss here, I like the site.
Kelly: If I'd have created a website with as many problems, I'd kill myself.
Yes, the social networking feature of the Dunder Mifflin Infinity website was infiltrated by sexual predators.
Ryan
Yes, I'm having the Scranton branch come in on one Saturday so they can re-enter sales that they made on the phone as sales that were made by the website which they should have done in the first place, if the website had been working.
Ryan
Jim: Hey man, you mind if I run something by you?
Ryan: Love it. Go.
Jim: Well, I kinda feel like what we have going for us is our customer service, and no matter how we change this up, I don't know that a website's going to be able to replace that.
Ryan: I can tell you thought about this a lot, I appreciate that.
Jim: Thanks.
Ryan: David Wallace does too. You told him all about this at the Christmas party, right?
Jim: Did I? I don't...
Ryan: You did. Yeah.
Jim: Hmm.
Ryan: Watch your back Jim. I'm just kidding.
I will be honest; the dating has not been going well. Look, men are visual creatures. We crave beauty, like a piece of fine art by any number of renowned artists, or an arty photograph of Cindy Crawford nude... that, but the women I'm getting fixed up with are, egh! Not that they aren't nice, or that have great personalities, they just... They just lack a certain... Crawfordness.
Michael
There is a spare key, and a master key for the office. Dwight has them both. When I asked "What if you die, Dwight, how will we get into the office," he said "If I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks."
Pam
Ryan: Do you have a question, Kelly?
Kelly: Yeah, I have a lot of questions. Number one: how dare you?