Jim: Hey. What's up?
Michael: What if I told you I had done the worst thing ever. Would you still wanna be my friend?
Jim: Did you murder someone?
Erin: Oh my God.
Michael: Lurk much? [she leaves] I miss Pam.

I'm not a bad news person, I bring good news! Like when I promised those kids I'd pay for college!


Dwight: Heyy! Jimmy, what's up?
Jim: Not much.
Dwight: Cool! Very cool. I bet if you tried, you could grow the best beard of anyone in this office!
Jim: Thanks Dwight.
Dwight: That laugh is so infectious!
Michael: Creepin' me out. I'm gonna go.
Dwight: I didn't mean any of those things I just said.

Hey Mr. Scott, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do to make our dreams come true! Hey Mr. Scott, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do, make our dreams come true!


Five minutes ahead of schedule... Right on schedule.


Ryan: Okay. So, um. Listen. I know about your diabolical plan.
Dwight: What?! "Diabolical plan?" I wouldn't even know how to begin-
Ryan: [holds up My Diabolical Plan by Dwight K. Schrute] I found a copy of it in the copier tray.
Dwight: So what do you want.
Ryan: I want the same thing you want. I want to take Jim Halpert down. I want in.

Michael: What do you want from this job, provided the company doesn't go out of business.
Erin: I've always wondered what it might be to be an accountant.
Michael: Really.
Erin: Yes, but I'm terrible at math. So.
Michael: You know when I hired Kevin, he was actually applying for a job in the warehouse.
Erin: Seriously?
Michael: Yeah. I just sort of had a feeling about him. I have a feeling about you too.

The principal told me that 90 percent of Scott's Tots are on track to graduate and that's 35 percent higher than the rest of the school. I think that if you hadn't made that promise a lot of them would've dropped out, which is something to think about, I think.


Michael: How about this. If you can find a way to pay for your tuition, let me buy your books. Ok?
Student: They're expensive.
Michael: Yeah, well. I owe you that, at least, right?
Student: It's about a thousand dollars.
Michael: Really. Wow. That's... over two hundred dollars a year.
Student: No. A thousand each year.

Guys, I'm starting to think Pam's not even pregnant.


Now, I can't pay for your college. But you don't have to go to class, to be in class. Online classes are a viable option to a traditional college experience. And the best way to access those courses is with your own personal laptop. Which is rendered useless, without batteries! And I have one for each of you. Hold on! Hold on! Hold on! Hold on. They're lithium!


Wow, uh... I am never going to forget today. Not a chance. I don't think I could ever give back to you what you have given me today. Who here has done something stupid in their lives? Like skipped out on study hall or mix up the difference between A gym and B gym, that sort of thing. Show of hands, anybody? Yes! A bunch of you. Well me too, I have done something stupid. Which I would like to share. Uh...


The Office Season 6 Episode 12 Quotes

Hey Mr. Scott, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do to make our dreams come true! Hey Mr. Scott, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do, make our dreams come true!


Employee of the month. Every awesome place I've worked at had one ... Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, AIG... my summer at Enron.