The Office Season 3 Episode 23: "The Job" Quotes
Here's the sitch. Two weeks ago, I was in the worst relationship of my life. She treated me poorly. We didn't connect, I was miserable. Now, I'm in the best relationship of my life with the same woman. Love is a mystery.
Michael
Karen: So what's going to happen to us when I get this job?
Jim: Oh do you mean when I get the job?
Karen: Well, if you get the job then I'd move here with you. Would you move with me? I'm not stupid. I was at the beach. We won't have a future in Scranton. There's one too many people there.
Jim: You mean Kevin?
Karen: Exactly. But you get it, right? Can't stay there.
Jim: Yeah, I do. C'mon.
Dwight: You showed great leadership potential at the coal walk. Even if you did follow it with that embarrassing personal confession.
Pam: Thank you.
Dwight: I had to make Andy my number two. It's political, complicated, you wouldn't understand. I want you... to be Assistant Regional Manager.
Pam: Really?
Dwight: Well, in a sense. Although, publicly I am going to retain the Assistant Regional Manager position.
Pam: You will be your own assistant.
Dwight: Correct, I need someone I can trust. But I would also like the title... to be secretly applied to you. Just stripped of its pomp and frills.
Pam: Okay. So... you would be the Regional Manager, and the Assistant Regional Manager. Andy is your number two. I would be the Secret Assistant Regional Manager.
Dwight: Mmmmmm, let's call it Secret Assistant to the Regional Manager.
Pam: Mm-hmm.
Dwight: Do you accept?
Pam: Absolutely, I do.
I literally cannot wait to see what Dwight has planned. And I wish Jim were here.
Pam
Jan: Hey you!
Michael: Hey.
Jan: How was your interview?
Michael: Pretty good.
Jan: Yeah?
Michael: Could have gone better I guess.
Jan: Oh. I'll put in a good word for you.
Michael: Cool. Maybe you should do it sooner rather than later.
Jan: What?
Andy: It's like staring into my soul, when I look at this wall.
Dwight: It's like outer space without the stars, it's so black.
Andy: This is gonna look so awesome!
Dwight: It's so intimidating! Anyone who comes in here... is gonna have to take me seriously. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!
Andy: Totally!
I'm a very good interviewee. Why? Because I have something that nobody else has. And that is... my brain. Which makes me charming, witty, intelligent... [long pause] and quick on my feet.
Andy
Dwight: Who was the second man on the moon?
Andy: Trick question. There was no second man on the moon.
Dwight: Inventor of the cotton gin.
Andy: Eli Edison.
Dwight: Talk me through an appendectomy.
Andy: Step 1, disinfection. Step 2, incision. Step 3, remove the appendix tenderly so it doesn't burst and spread toxic...icity everywhere.
Dwight: Step 5, the wound.
Andy: Re-suture. Sutures, yes.
Dwight: When is the Paleolithic Age?
Andy: 17 B.C.
Dwight: What is a scented candle?
How is the new boss? Tough. Do people respect him? They have to. Do they like him? Irrelevant. They do not. And I hate them back.
Dwight
Michael: There they are, the Accounting Department. I shall miss your humility and your promptly printed checks.
Kevin: Do you think it's gonna to be weird working with Jan in New York?
Michael: No. Not at all. I haven't talked to Jan since we broke up, and I think if she had something to say she would have called me.
Oscar: Maybe you should talk to her? Before...
Michael: No, no, no. You know what? It's a done deal. I basically have the job already. There's nothing she can do to stop it now. I already sold my condo.
www.creedthoughts.gov.www/creedthoughts. Check it out.
Creed
Oscar: Hey, Pam I've been meaning to say something to you. I really miss our friendship.
Pam: Wow, very funny.
Stanley: I've never heard you talk that much. I thought it was Kelly.
Kelly: Are you kidding? I would have never done that. It was pathetic-ville. No offense, Pam.
Meredith: You know what? Don't even worry about it. Everyone was so drunk, I bet no one even remembers what you said.
Creed: I remember. I blogged the whole thing.