The Office Season 6 Episode 7: "The Lover" Quotes
Oscar: Pam, just for the record I think you're over-reacting a little bit. Your mom's old enough to make her own decisions.
Pam: Oh, well, thanks Oscar. I was just wondering, how would you feel if Michael was sleeping with your mom?
Oscar: My mother's in a wheelchair.
Pam Beesly: Well he could still... [pause] I'm sorry about that. [pause] Oh, could I just get you to sign this second page?
Dwight: Where'd you get that mallard?
Kelly: What the hell is a mallard?
Dwight: THAT!
Kelly: Oh! Professor Damon D. Duck! Jim gave him to me.
Dwight: I gave that to him as a gift. I'm taking that back.
Kelly: If you take it back I'll scream.
Dwight: I'll give you five bucks for it.
Ryan: Twenty.
Dwight Schrute: Ten.
Ryan: Deal.
Kelly: You're so cool.
Ryan: This reminds me, you owe me three bucks for gas.
Volunteerism is important. Every weekend I volunteer at the local animal shelter, they need a lot of help down there. Last Sunday I had to put down 150 pets by myself.
Dwight
[on cellphone] No, I'll talk to her. No, nobody talks to my baby that way. Yeah I'll let you know how it goes. Alright. Bye, Pickle. [hangs up] Pamela Morgan Beesly, you need to apologize to your mother right now.
Michael
Pam: I'm not apologizing to anyone. Michael owes ME an apology.
Michael: For trying to find happiness in the arms of a lover?
Pam: Don't call my mother your lover!
Kevin: Yes! That's what I'm talking about.
Andy: That is not okay dude.
Michael: Okay, in my defense...
Phyllis: Disgusting.
Creed: That's messed up man.
Pam: Yes. Thank you. Welcome to my personal hell!
Oscar: You have no sense of boundaries, Michael.
I don't need to be friends with Pam. I have plenty of female friends. My mom. Pam's mom. My aunt... although she just blocked me on IM. What's her face, from Quizno's? I see her like four times a week.
Michael
Michael: I assumed that you want me to be happy, because I want you to be happy.
Pam: Michael. Let me make this very easy for you. I COULD GIVE A SH!T ABOUT YOUR HAPPINESS. STOP DATING MY MOTHER!
Michael: You know what, I'm gonna start dating her even harder.
Pam: What's that supposed to mean.
Michael: You know what it means.
Michael: Let's get back to the matter at hand...
Pam: Whatever. You know. Sleep with my mom, sleep with everyone's mom!
Ryan: Whoa!! That's my mom you're talking about!
Michael: Hey, alright! You know what clearly I'm outnumbered here but could I just say one thing? Please? What is so wrong about me. I'm caring. I'm generous. I'm sensual. Is it really so horrible that I could possibly go out and find happiness?
Phyllis: Good luck Michael. I hope you find what you're looking for.
Oscar: Maybe you're right. Who are we to-
Pam: Shut up Oscar! What is wrong with all of you!? He is sleeping with my mother!
Dwight: I don't think there's a whole lot of sleeping going on!
Jim: Oh, so Dwight gave me this wooden mallard as a gift. I found a recording device in it. Yes. So. I think if I play it just right, I can get Dwight to live out the plot of National Treasure.
Pam: You need to be more upset about this. She's your mother too now. Your mother is sleeping with Michael Scott.
Michael: Do you want me to stop dating your mom? Is that how we're going to get past this, because I will!
Pam: Hmmm. Yes!
Michael: Well that is not gonna happen.
Pam: Then why'd you even offer?
Pam: Maybe I'm overreacting.
Jim: Yeah. Maybe.
Pam: But I don't think I am.
Jim: You're not. No.
