Michael: It is a classic management tactic. You have two sides, a deadline, you know that neither of them are gonna concede. What you do is you put 'em in a room, and you just- Hey.
Pam: Hey.
Oscar: Hey, we're going with the chairs.
Michael: What?
Oscar: I just figured I'd rather have new chairs than nothing at all.
Pam: Thanks Michael.
Michael: Good work. I'm proud of you. [they leave] Mother-

Was that hot or what?


Now, I have to take care of a legal issue.


Hey Tuna, check it out. Tuna sandwich. Just like you.


No, I don't ... this doesn't change anything. I have a very important decision to make. We need a new copier. We need new chairs. And I need to figure out a way to keep this money without having everybody hate me.


Angela: I didn't-
Dwight: Haha, Mrs. Schrute.
Angela: We are not married.
Dwight: What...
Angela: Take this thing. [takes off twine ring]
Dwight: My... It's not my fault you don't understand German; I've been telling you to take it for years!
Andy: Are we, uh... are we leaving or what? [Mose hits Andy in the head with a deflated ball] Ow!

Angela: Dwight, I thought I knew what I wanted. And then, being here with you and the German Mennonite minister... it just all felt right. I made a mistake picking Andy.
Dwight: I know you did. And that's why I have taken care of everything.
Angela: What do you mean?
Dwight: Well Monkey, he's a real minister. And you said, "I do." And I said, "I do." And Andy wasn't signing a receipt; he was signing our marriage certificate as a witness.
Angela: Dwight! That doesn't count!
Dwight: Yes, of course it does.
Angela: No, it doesn't!
Dwight: It does in the state of Pennsylvania.

Angela: I work with Dwight.
Dwight: He doesn't understand a word you're saying.
Andy: What?
Dwight: Although born just minutes from here, he speaks only German. Closed society. So, now, after the readings by all of your sisters, we will arrive at the vows. So, Konrad... [speaks German to minister; minister begins speaking in German] And away we go. This is a little taste of the ceremony, if you will. He's explaining why we're here, what we're doing here, making introductions, blah blah blah... Then he's gonna have Andy repeat a bunch of stuff. He's gonna ask Andy to produce a ring. I have uh, now just uh... just some twine for our purposes, and you will put the ring on her finger. Yadda yadda, then he's going to ask Andy, uh, if he would like to marry Angela. And you will reply, "I do." [Andy mouths, "I do" silently] And then he's going to ask Angela if she would like to marry Andy, to which you will reply...
Angela: I do.
Dwight: And there we go. Okay, and that's just about it. Man and wife.

Michael: Okay.
Kevin: Michael, I got you a hot chocolate. I hope that's okay.
Michael: Oh, thank you my dear.
Kelly: Wait, Michael! Let me open the door for you.
Michael: Oh, well, chivalry is not dead after all. Okay...
Stanley: There he is!
Michael: There he is! Hello, hello!
Phyllis: Hello.
Michael: Hello! Good to see you! Good to see you.
Jim: Oh!
Michael: Mm! [gives Jim a high five] Yeah!
Pam: There's that ass!
Michael: Hey hey! Yeah! Unh!
Pam: Woo! Yeah. Aw, don't take it away!
Michael: Oh... ah, I almost choked.

Jim: You might want to consider changing teams, because we would ... we would love to have you.
Pam: No, copier's great.
Jim: Yeah?
Pam: Yeah. I have my copies.
Jim: There they are.
Pam: And I have my original.
Jim: You got it.
Pam: So suck it.
Jim: Okay.

Dwight: Have you made a decision on the butter sculpture?
Angela: No. I haven't thought of it.
Dwight: Okay. Cow, goat or sheep. It's not that hard.
Angela: I would like cat.

Andy: Uh, Dwight, if we pay extra, could you slaughter the entrees the day before?
Dwight: ... I'll consider it.
Andy: See? That's how you do it! Makin' progress here. [steps in manure, trying to laugh it off] ... Darn! Heh.
Dwight: There's a hose out back.
Andy: Okay.

The Office Season 5 Episode 9 Quotes

Andy: Dwight, I'm a little concerned about some of these directions to Schrute Farms...
Dwight: Yeah, do tell.
Andy: I mean, like, "156 paces from the light red mailbox, make a left."
Dwight: Mmhmm.
Andy: "Walk until you hear the beehive."
Dwight: How could it be more clear?
Angela: I think Andy makes an excellent point.
Dwight: Okay.

Michael: Why don't you explain this to me like I'm five.
Oscar: Your mommy and daddy give you 10 dollars to open up a lemonade stand. So you go out and you buy cups and you buy lemons and you buy sugar. And now you find out that it only costs you nine dollars.
Michael: Ho-oh!
Oscar: So you have an extra dollar.
Michael: Yeah.
Oscar: So you can give that dollar back to mommy and daddy, but guess what? Next summer...
Michael: I'll be six.