Oscar is my Queen. That's easy, give me a hard one - that's what Oscar said.

Michael

Toby is the instruction card you throw away.

Michael

I always wanted to be hay king... but the world shines on Mose.

Dwight

Yes, I have a dream... I want to own a decommissioned lighthouse. And I want to live at the top. And nobody knows I live there. And there's a button I can press and launch that lighthouse into space.

Stanley

Think of your commission cap as a naked old man in a gym locker room.

Gabe

Moving backwards, our IT guys have been Glasses, Turban, Ear Hair, Fatty 3, Shorts, Fatty 2, Lozenge, and Fatso.

Michael

What is wrong with you? What happened to you in high school?

Darryl [to Michael]

Did I truck three hundred bails of hay to a parking lot to rectify some childhood disappointment? Yes.

Dwight

Jim: Now, I've tried everything.
Pam: Did you prank Dwight?
Jim: No.
Pam: Well, you like that!

Oscar: How long can you sustain this without a cash infusion?
Ryan: We have nine solid days. I love these questions, keep 'em coming.

If I can make mushed carrots seem better than a boob, I can pretty much sell anything.

Jim

Dwight: The petting zoo closes at 2:00, and the goat roast starts at 3:00.

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The Office Season 7 Episode 9 Quotes

Dwight: The petting zoo closes at 2:00, and the goat roast starts at 3:00.

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Everyone follow me to the shelter. We have enough food for 14 days. After that, we have a very difficult conversation.

Dwight