The Office Quotes
So, uh, have you felt the vibe yet? We work hard, we play hard. Sometimes we play hard when we should be working hard, right? Um, I guess the atmosphere that I've created here is that I am a friend first and a boss second. Probably an entertainer third.
Michael
Michael: Jim, now is the time to stop putting Dwight's personal effects into jello.
Jim: Okay. Dwight, I'm sorry, because I've always been your biggest flan.
Michael: [laughs] Oh, nice!! That's the way it is around here, just kind of goes round and round and round...
Ryan: [playing along] You should have put him in custardy.
Michael: Oh, hey! Yes! New guy, and he scores!
It's okay here, uh, but people sometimes take advantage, because it's so relaxed. And, I'm a volunteer sheriff's deputy on the weekends, and you cannot screw around there. It's sort of one of the rules.
Dwight
Pam: I was in the meeting with Jan, and she did say that it could be this branch that gets the axe.
Michael: Well, Pam, uh, maybe you should stick to the ongoing confidentiality agreement of meetings.
Dwight: Yeah, Pam. Information is power!
Michael: Now I know there are some rumors out there, and I just kinda want to set the record straight...
Dwight: Uh, I'm Assistant Regional Manager, I should know first.
Michael: Assistant to the Regional Manager.
Michael: People I respect, heroes of mine, would be: Bob Hope, um, Abraham Lincoln, definitely, Bono...uh, and probably God would be the fourth one. And, I just think all those people really, uh, helped the world in so many ways, that it's, um, it's really beyond words. It's really "incalculcable."
Downsizing? I have no problem with that. I have been recommending downsizing since I first got here. I even brought it up in my interview. I say, "Bring it on!"
Dwight
Dwight: You can't do that!
Jim: Why not?
Dwight: Safety violation. I could fall and pierce... an organ.
Jim [crossing his fingers]: We'll see. [to camera] See, this is why the whole downsizing thing just doesn't bother me.
Dwight: Downsizing?!
Jim: Dwight, what are you doing?
Dwight: What?
Jim: What are you doing?
Dwight: Just clearing my desk. I can't concentrate.
Jim: It's not on your desk!
Dwight: It's overlapping. It's all spilling over the edge. One word, two syllables. Demarcation.
Jan: This does however mean that there's going to be downsizing.
Michael: Me no wanna hear that, Jan. Because downsizing is a bitch. It is a real bitch. And I wouldn't, uh, wish that on Josh's men. I certainly wouldn't wish it on my men. Or women, present company excluded. Sorry. Uh, Is Josh concerned about downsizing, himself? Not downsizing himself, but is he concerned about downsizing?
Jan: Well, uh...
Michael: Did we get a fax this morning?
Pam: Uh, yeah. The one.
Michael: Why isn't it in my hand? Because the company runs on efficiency of communication, right? So what's the problem, Pam? Why didn't, uh, why didn't I get it?
Pam: You put it in the garbage can that was the special filing cabinet.
Jan: Don't panic.
Michael: Uh, This is excellent. Although alarm bells are kind of going "Ringy Dingy Dingy!"
