You had black hair and then grey hair.

Dwight

Actually that goes for all of you double XLs...Stanley, Kevin, this kid in a few years.

Packer

I guess I can cancel my order from Zappos.com, because oh the loafers have arrived.

Andy

You're back...and you're disgusting.

Dwight

Your boyfriend, he look like a pretty girl.

Nail Salon Worker

I really like Andy these days. He's pretend and he does exactly what I tell him to.

Dwight

Bam Andy! How you like me now? I hope as a friend.

Erin

I have to say, I like hanging out with a vengeful bitch.

Dwight

We can tell him his mother is dying. That usually works on him.

Dwight

Our house is not kid friendly. Most of our furniture is sharp. Also, eww.

Angela

Angela: Someone say something.
Stanley: I said something when they were thinking of hiring Jim. Didn't work then. Now look what he's doing to us.

Meredith: If I ever got that bad, you'd tell me right?
Kevin: Meredith I tell you all the time.

The Office Quotes

Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael