You had black hair and then grey hair.

Dwight

Actually that goes for all of you double XLs...Stanley, Kevin, this kid in a few years.

Packer

I guess I can cancel my order from Zappos.com, because oh the loafers have arrived.

Andy

You're back...and you're disgusting.

Dwight

Your boyfriend, he look like a pretty girl.

Nail Salon Worker

I really like Andy these days. He's pretend and he does exactly what I tell him to.

Dwight

Bam Andy! How you like me now? I hope as a friend.

Erin

I have to say, I like hanging out with a vengeful bitch.

Dwight

We can tell him his mother is dying. That usually works on him.

Dwight

Our house is not kid friendly. Most of our furniture is sharp. Also, eww.

Angela

Angela: Someone say something.
Stanley: I said something when they were thinking of hiring Jim. Didn't work then. Now look what he's doing to us.

Meredith: If I ever got that bad, you'd tell me right?
Kevin: Meredith I tell you all the time.

The Office Quotes

Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.

Michael

When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was Puke. I would chug a fifth of SoCo, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more SoCo, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight Bs. They called me Buzz.

Andy