Angela: Well I think it would be immoral for Erin to cheat on Andy.
Erin: Oh I'm sorry. Didn't you cheat on Andy?
Angela: Yes, and he didn't like it.

I'll be damned if I'm gonna let us lose me.

Dwight

Clark: All that really specific cat turd business, that was about you right?
Dwight: You got me...I used to collect them.

Client: There he is; my son.
Dwight: He's got cat turd collector written all over him.

We're aware of what it means Oscar, you just do not look cool saying it.

Kevin

One time he snuck up behind a sleeping deer, and just sawed its head right off.

Clark

You can't be scared of a room full of Jims. I love the guy but he's basically Gumby with hair.

Pam

Women reach their sexual peak at whatever age Jan was last week.

Clark

You can make it in 30 minutes if you drive 240 miles an hour.

Dwight

Dwight: I hope you've been paying your wig storage bills Jimbo, because it's time for another episode of Handsome and Stinky: Paper Brothers For Hire.

Who's the one who didn't bring lice into the office? Meredith. Sure I gave everybody pink eye once, and my ex keyed a few of their cars, and yeah I BMed in the shredder on New Years. But I didn't bring the lice in. That was all Pam.

Meredith

Yeah, Kevin asked me out. I was kinda feeling good about reentering the dating pool, but then Kevin asked me out. Thought I might trade up to a new level of man. Then Kevin asked me out.

Val

The Office Quotes

Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.

Michael

When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was Puke. I would chug a fifth of SoCo, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more SoCo, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight Bs. They called me Buzz.

Andy