The Office Season 5 Quotes
Stanley you will not die! Stanley! Stanley, Barack is president! You are BLACK, Stanley!
Michael
I guess this is what they call a bittersweet moment. It is bitter because I slightly destroyed a wonderful little family. But sweet because David Wallace thought I did a good job. That's what I hate bittersweet chocolate. I don't even... what's the point of that? Why not just sweet? Who are you helping?
Michael
Andy: Okay, it is time for the final votes. All of those in favor of resolution Hillary Swank is hot? [half of office raises hands] Okay. And all those opposed? [other half of office raises hands]
Kevin: This is ridiculous.
Oscar: That's the thing about debating, you're just going to get people more entrenched in the view they had in the first place.
Dwight: There was a terrible war, ugh, so many died. Far too many died. But if Frodo hadn't destroyed the ring, then goodness itself might have died.
Michael: You're right.
Dwight: Yeah.
Michael: You are right. I will call David and give him the customer list and I will give him all my info.
I am trying to be more optimistic in life. I've got what, 20 or 30 years left. And my family history says I have less. Now, the old Stanley Hudson would have found something wrong this actress. But that is no way to live life. Look at this healthy sexy pretty strong young woman. C'mon people! She is hot.
Stanley
Michael: I'm not going to make this call.
Dwight: Michael, you have to. Have you ever seen a lioness devour its cub? Have you ever seen a baboon devour its mate? Have you ever seen a raccoon devour a squirrel?
Michael: My heart says...
Dwight: Your heart is a wonderful thing, Michael. But it has made some terrible decisions.
Michael: That is true.
Dwight: Yes.
Michael: That is true. We have gone down the wrong path many many times.
Dwight: Yeah.
Michael: Jan... Ryan.
Dwight: Yeah, save your heart for love, and use your brain for business, right? If we don't do this to prince paper, someone else will. Worse yet, someone else will do it to us.
Michael: Dwight, what will happen to that family if I call David and give him this information?
Dwight: Its simple, David would use that information to destroy them.
Michael: Ok. You know, our sales are fine. We're doing fine. They're doing fine.
Dwight: They could do better.
Michael: Why don't we just, live and let live?
Dwight: What?
Michael: Live and let live.
Dwight: I'm not familiar with that expression,
Michael: It's from James Bond.
Dwight: It doesn't make sense, of course I'm alive.
Prince Grandfather: Well, so long.
Dwight: I look forward to hearing from you about that job application.
Michael: Okay, goodbye Prince Family.
Dwight: Goodbye prince family, should be called the Sucker family. Here you go shark, let me fix your fin for you and sharpen your teeth while I'm at it. Bye bye.
See that, the obvious symmetry of the face? That's a natural appeal of the scientific standard of coin aphelia, features that are a composite average of many features. Yes, she is attractive, but is not hot.
Oscar
Pam: Ladies, are we prepared to let the Kevins of the world decide anything for us? Anything at all? We don't even give him full internet access.
Kevin: Wait, what?
Dwight: Oh my God.
Michael: Aw, it's alright.
Dwight: Oh man,
Michael: Aw, my car.
Dwight: Not good.
Prince Grandfather: Is everyone okay?
Prince Grandmother: It sounded bad.
Dwight: Yeah.
Michael: No no, we are fine. You have done enough already.
Dwight: You've done more then you can possibly know.
Michael: Just shut up.
No, no, no no. She's hot, okay? Because if you are saying Hillary Swank isn't hot, then you are saying that I am not hot. Because obviously I am not as hot as Hillary Swank!
Kelly
