Andy: I'm so jealous right now.
Michael: Hey, you know who you shouldn't be jealous of. Yourself. Because you're invited, and you're invited, and you're invited, and you, you and you and you, and you--
Limo driver: Car seats eight.
Michael: What?
Limo driver: The car seats eight.
Michael: The limo seats eight.
Michael: Okay. Then Jim and Pam. And Ryan plus a guest.
Jim and Pam: No thanks.
Ryan: I'll use it when you're done.

Michael: I wish the windows weren't tinted so people could see us in here.
Andy: Hey you guys do you think anyone might have had sex in here?
Dwight: Definitely, definitely! Smells like it!

Andy: Michael, what if somebody asks you a question at this meeting? Are you just going to wave or what-
Michael: I will have to answer!
Dwight: I'll ask you a question!
Andy: Make it a softball. Something he can, like, crank out of the park.
Dwight: "Michael Scott, you run the most profitable branch of Dunder Mifflin. How do you do it?"
Michael: No! No! That's too hard. Say! "Your name is Zamboni." And then I will say, "Well! We're sort of on thin ice."
Andy: Heyyy-yo!!!!

I've always been the guy who can rally other people to rebel. In high school, I organized a walk out over standardized testing. Got over 500 students to just skip the SATs. At the last second I chickened out, took it anyway got a 1220. Always regretted it... I feel lachrymose.


Jim: Let me show you what I mean. Your new office. How great is that, right? For a job well done, well, not done.
Ryan: I will, uh, I will do my work, right now. I will stay late tonight.
Jim: Right.
Ryan: Um, I'm very sorry. About everything.
Jim: You're a good kid. You know what, it gets bigger once you're in there. Enjoy.
Ryan: Is there Internet?

Jim: I just figured you needed a place where you could concentrate. And not be bothered by... bothering people.
Ryan: Okay.

That is what it is all about. Not the perks. The perks, I could take or leave the perks. But, limos, are for people who make the company money, not lose millions and have no plan. So we're leaving early.


He can take the bus. He's had his limo ride.


Ryan: Do you love her, or do you love the idea of her?
Creed: I don't know man. I just don't know.

Dwight: Dwight Schrute, Scranton branch. I just wanted to say that I have been standing in this line all day. And if this line, is any indication of how this company is being run, then we are in BIG trouble! [applause] Thank you! Right, I know! And I just want to say that I believe there are options out there! A take a number option, like they have in a deli. [silence] What about line varieties? Like an express line, for quick comments, ten words or less. They could move, MUCH more efficiently. [silence] What about ropes, along the lines that you can hold on to?
CEO: Thank you. Thank you for your suggestions.
Dwight: Yes.

The Dunder Mifflin stock symbol is DMI. Do you know what that stands for? Dummies, morons, and idiots. Because that's what you'd have to be to own it. And as one of those idiots, I believe the board owes me answers.


If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then everyday would be un de donkfest!


The Office Season 6 Quotes

Hi I'm Date Mike. Nice to meet me. How do you like your eggs in the morning.


'R' is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it murder and not mukduk.