I just want ONE mother f*cking delicious moment.

Andy

Gabe: Happy birthday to Gabe.
Nellie: Oh get out, Skeleton Man!

Darryl: What flavor is that?
Warehouse Guy: Coconut Penis.

It gets better, but it also gets vastly more complicated.

Robert

Phyllis: What's he doing?
Dwight: He's searching out younger gays.

I'm the f*cking lizard king.

Robert

Sometimes I wonder if I have ovaries in my scrotum, because I am great at girl talk.

Gabe

Is it just me, or is our boss a freakin' weirdo?

Harry

You told me there was a rule. I could have choked so many people by now!

Dwight

Harry: Who the hell are Jim Halpert and Dwight Schrute?
Erin: Jim, Dwight, what are your last names?

Dwight: Jim, tell him wear he can stick his grapes.
Jim: In the fridge!

Erin: You're gonna be alright.
Kevin: No. No he's not.

The Office Season 8 Quotes

A fluke is one of the most common fish in the sea, so if you go fishing for a fluke, chances are you just might catch one.

Kevin

You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to beg for mercy. You have the right to request judgment by combat. Dwight's rights.

Dwight