The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 2 Episode 10: "Bart Gets Hit by a Car" Quotes
Hey, cool, I'm dead.
Okay, everybody, for the next 15 minutes, one-third off on every pitcher! (Crowd cheers) Hey, one per customer. Domestic beer only. Hey, no sharing!
Moe
Homer's Brain: A million dollars. My wife cost me a million dollars.
Marge: Homer would you like some more macaroni and cheese?
Homer's Brain: Yeah, a million dollars worth, you treacherous snake woman.
Homer: No, thank you.
Marge: Some string beans?
Homer's Brain: No, I don't want any string beans either, you two-timing, backstabbing--Uh-oh. Better answer.
Homer: No, thank you.
Marge: Some celery with cream cheese on it?
Homer's Brain: Just mouth polite nothings.
Homer: No, thank you.
(Smithers checks on Bart after Mr. Burns hits him.)
Smithers: Uh-oh. I, uh-I think the boy's hurt.
Mr. Burns: Oh, for crying out loud! Just give him a nickel and let's get going.
Burns: I'm going to write a figure on this piece of paper. It's not quite as large as the last one, but I think you'll find it fair.
(draws a giant zero)
Hutz: I think we should take it.
Bailiff: Do you promise to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Marge: Mmm Yes, I do.
Hutz: She sounded like she was taking that awful seriously.
(in court and in tears) Luckily, I was not killed that day. Though sometimes I wish I had been.
Oh, it was a beautiful day. The sun was shining. I was driving to the orphanage to pass out toys
Burns
Judge: Mr. Burns, I must warn you that if you continue to disrupt the court in this way, I will have to cite you for contempt.
Burns: You wouldn't dare!
Judge: Well, no, um, I guess I wouldn't.
Hutz: Doctor, are you sure there isn't a little soft tissue trauma in the facial area?
Dr. Nick: Oh yeah, tons of it! (wrapping Bart's head in bandages) Just say when!
Marge: Is he well enough for me to start mothering him unbearably, doctor?
Hibbert: Mmmm, better let him rest up a while first.
Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law. What's that, a broken neck? Great!
Lionel Hutz
