The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 3 Episode 24: "Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?" Quotes
Doctor: This can't be right; this man has 104% body fat! Hey, no eating in the tank!
Homer: Go to hell!
Lisa: This award is the biggest crock I ever saw.
Bart: What about the Emmys?
Lisa: I stand corrected.
Homer: I miss my couch.
Joe Frazier: I know how you feel, you lost the couch, I lost the heavyweight championship.
Homer: PfftHeavyweight Championship, there's like, three of those!
Homer: All right, Herb. I'll give you the money, but first you have to forgive me and treat me like a brother.
Herb: Nope.
Homer: All right, then just give me the drinking bird.
Marge: How was your day at work, dear?
Homer: Oh, the usual...stand in front of this, open that, pull down this, bend over, spread apart that, turn your head that way, cough...
Bart: Unckie Herb, what advice would you give to a young boy who would most likely become a bum like yourself?
Herb: Discarded pizza boxes are an inexpensive source of cheese.
Why did this have to happen now during prime time, when TV's brightest stars come out to shine?
Homer
I used to be rich. I owned Mickey Mouse massage parlors and those Disney sleaze balls shut me down. I said "Look, I'll change the logo, put Mickey's pants back on." Some guys you just can't reason with.
Hobo
Herb: Maggie...who brought me my fortune. I'll give you anything you want in the world
Maggie: -(machine)- I want what the dog's eating
Herb: I'll get you something nice.
Lisa: Why didn't you write Unckie Herb?
Herb: Hey, if I wrote to you what was I suppose to say? "Dear Lisa, last night I used a rat for a pillow thanks to your pop?"
Blablueeeh. (with the machine Herb invented) I have soiled myselfhow embarrassing.
Maggie
(On his back, holding Maggie up) The pitch is insufficient for "burp me", and this jigsaw motion is something I've never(Maggie throws up on him) Eureka.
Herb
