The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 5 Episode 18: "Burns' Heir" Quotes
He's the perfect one to suckle at my proverbial teat.
Mr. Burns
I've argued in front of every judge in this state. Often as a lawyer.
Lionel Hutz
Mr. Burns: I suggest you leave immediately.
Homer: Or what? You'll release the dogs, or the bees, or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?
That's it! Being abusive to your family is one thing, but I will not stand idly by and watch you feed a hungry dog!
Homer
Mr. Burns: Now that you've agreed to reap the windfall of my death, I must return to my large, empty mansion to rattle around and await the inevitable ... alone.
Marge: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Homer: Yeah. Let's push him down the steps.
Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Homer
Bart: (reading cue cards) Hello, Mr... Kurns. I bad want... money now. Me sick.
Homer: Ooh, he card reads good.
Lisa: I propose to you that your heir not need be a boy. In this phallocentric society of ours--
Mr. Burns: I don't know what phallocentric means, but no girls!
Milhouse: (dressed as a girl) So much for Plan B.
Mr. Burns: I specifically said, no geeks!
Milhouse: But my mom says I'm cool...
Turn it up! Turn it up!!
</i> Grandpa
(Homer wants to keep Hans Moleman as a replacement for Bart.)
Homer: (Kisses Moleman's head.) It's like kissing a peanut.
Marge: Homer, I want that thing out of my house.
I just don't want to be here, Dad. Besides, I started a fire this morning that I really should keep an eye on.
Bart
