The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 4 Episode 16: "Duffless" Quotes
Over, under, in and out, that's what shoe tying is all about.
Principal Skinner
Marge: Homer, I want you to encourage Lisa with her science fair project.
Homer: Yes, syrup is better than jelly.
Marge: I don't know if I like you experimenting on your brother.
Lisa: Please, mother, it's purely in the interest of science.
Lisa's Brain: That'll learn 'em to bust my tomater.
Lisa: What have you done with my report?
Bart: I've hidden it. To find it you'll need to decipher a series of clues, each more fiendish than
Lisa: Got it!
Bart: D'oh!
Judge: Your license is hereby revoked and you are to attend traffic school and two months of AA meetings.
Homer: Your honor, I'd like that last remark stricken from the record.
Judge: No.
Chief Wiggum: Mrs. Simpson, I have some bad news; your husband was found DOA.
Marge: Oh my God! He's dead?!
Chief Wiggum: Oh, wait, I mean DWI. I always get those two mixed up.
Mrs. Phillips: My name's Mrs. Phillips. You said my husband's DWI?
Chief Wiggum: Um, why don't you talk to that officer over there? I'm going out to lunch.
Lionel Hutz: Don't worry, Homer. I have a fool proof strategy to get you out of here: surprise witnesses, each more surprising than the last. I tell you, the judge won't know what hit him!
Lisa: I've grown a futuristic tomato by fertilizing it with anabolic steroids.
Bart: The kind that help our Olympic athletes reach new peaks of excellence?
Lisa: The very same.
Well, Edna, for a school with no Asian kids, I think we put on a pretty darn good science fair.
Principal Skinner
Moe: You'll be back!!! And you, And you (to Barney). And you.
Barney: Of course I'll be back, if you didn't close I'd never leave!
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
Homer
Moe: C'mon, Homer, do it for your old pal Moesy.
Barney: But Moe, yesterday you called Homer a worthless sack of --
Moe: Pipe down, rub-a-dub!
