I've been acting like a 10 year old the last 30 years, but I swear i'm going to grow up and act 20 like a divorced 40 year old should.

Bart

• Permalink: I've been acting like a 10 year old the last 30 years, but I swe...
• Added: December 12, 2011

Bloody harry. he brought back beheading in a big way.

My daughter thinks I'm a ruthless tyrant like Hitler or Prince Harry. Homer

• Permalink: My daughter thinks I'm a ruthless tyrant like Hitler or Prince H...
• Added: December 12, 2011

Lisa: Sometimes i wish strangling your kid was still legal.
Marge: Not since they passed Homer's Law.

• Permalink: Sometimes i wish strangling your kid was still legal. Not sinc...
• Added: December 12, 2011

I just like to dress up to eat carrots and smoke.

Homer

• Permalink: I just like to dress up to eat carrots and smoke.
• Added: December 12, 2011

Homer: How would you like to have future sex?
Marge: Why do you say future this is now?
Homer: I meant a week from tomorrow. That's when the new penis gets here.

• Permalink: How would you like to have future sex? Why do you say future t...
• Added: December 12, 2011

You can always go back to Michigan. They're still under Sharia law.

Lisa

• Permalink: You can always go back to Michigan. They're still under Sharia ...
• Added: December 12, 2011

Who cares what we look like in whatever stupid year this is.

Bart

• Permalink: Who cares what we look like in whatever stupid year this is.
• Added: December 12, 2011

I'm Santa!? Oh, now I'll never die.

Grampa

• Permalink: I'm Santa!? Oh, now I'll never die.
• Added: December 12, 2011