The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 3 Episode 17: "Homer at the Bat" Quotes
Marge: And the next man wants to hit the ball too...and he does and everyone is happy.
Bart: Uh, mom? Why don't you let me call the game?
Marge: That's alright dear, I can do it.
Marge: Homey, come to bed
Homer: (goes back to bed with a plainer) Homer, go back to the garage!
Homer: Come here, boy, I want to show you something.
Bart: What's that, a homemade bat?
Homer: It's something very special: a homemade bat.
Burns: It's a brain and nerve tonic, full of proteins and electromagnetic juices.
Griffey: (takes a sip) Wow! It's like there's a party in my mouth and everybody's invited!
It was a lightning storm and I'd locked myself out. So, sheltering myself with a large piece of sheet metal, I ran and took shelter under the largest tree I could find.
Hypnotist: You are all very good players
Team: We are all very good players.
Hypnotist: You will beat Shelbyville.
Team: We will beat Shelbyville.
Hypnotist: You will give 110 percent.
Team: That's impossible no one can give more than 100 percent. By definition that's the most any one can give.
Burns: You, Strawberry, hit a home run.
Strawberry: Okay, skip.
(hits a home run)
Burns: Ha-ha! I told him to do that.
Smithers: Brilliant strategy sir.
End Theme
Well, Mr. Burns had done it,
The power plant had won it,
With Roger Clemens clucking all the while.
Mike Scoscia's tragic illness made us smile,
While Wade Boggs lay unconscious on the barroom tile.
We're talking softball,
From Maine to San Diego.
We're talking softball,
Mattingly and Canseco.
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw,
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law,
We're talking Ho-mer,
Ozzie, and the Straw!
