The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 2 Episode 9: "Itchy & Scratchy & Marge" Quotes
(Homer and Marge visit the Statue of David exhibit)
Homer: Well, there he is. Michelangelo's Dave.
Marge: Hmm, David.
Homer: Oh.
Is it a masterpiece? Or just some guy with his pants down?
Kent
(Helen Lovejoy and Maude Flanders arrive at Marge's doorstep)
Helen: Get dressed, Marge. You've got to lead our protest against this abomination! (Shows Marge a newspaper with the Statue of David on the cover)
Marge: Hmm, but that's Michelangelo's David. It's a masterpiece.
Helen: (Gasps) It's filth! It graphically portrays parts of the human body which, practical as they may be, are evil.
Marge: But I like that statue.
Maude: (Gasps) I told you she was soft on full frontal nudity.
(Homer watches TV)
TV Announcer: It's a tool that every home handy man needs. It's a jigsaw. It's a power drill. It's a wood-turning lathe. It's an asphalt spreader. It's 67 tools in one! How much would you pay for a machine that can do all this?
Homer: (Very interested) One-thousand dollars!
TV Announcer: Oh, don't answer yet.
Homer: Oh, sorry.
They love, and share.
Itchy and Scratchy's New Temporary Opening
They share and love and share.
Love, love, love,
Share, share, share.
The Itchy and Scratchy Show!
I always knew you'd change the world... for the better.
Homer
Itchy: This really hits the spot.
Scratchy: Doesn't it though?
Itchy: You make really good lemonade Scratchy.
Scratchy: Why thank you Itchy.
(Reading hate mail) "I will never watch your show, buy any of your products or brake if I see you crossing the street." That's cold. "Dear sleaze merchant." Oh, come on, that hurts. Gentlemen, the screwballs have spoken.
Roger Meyers Jr.
In preparing for this debate, I did a little research, and I discovered something astonishing. There was violence in the past, long before cartoons were invented.
Roger Meyers Jr.
Are cartoons too violent for children? Most people would say "No, of course not, what kind of stupid question is that?" But one woman says "Yes"... Marge Simpson.
Kent Brockman
You know, some of these stories are pretty good. I never knew mice lived such interesting lives.
Homer
Marge: What kind of warped human being would find that funny?
Homer: Heh, heh.
